Loved Sinner

Sweeter Wine

2012-01-07T22:41:00.003-07:00

Today's Gospel reading at Mass was about Marriage. How Jesus, at the Wedding at Cana sanctified marriage--gave marriage His approval. When the wine at the wedding ran out--Jesus was there, and at the request of His most blessed Mother--he changed water into wine--Jesus's first miracle.

Thinking about so many marriages today--many run out of "wine" of their own making, shortly after the marriage begins. They want to get divorced. Marriage is a Sacrament--that lasts a life-time. Why does the "love" dry up so early in the relationship? Because they don't have Jesus there to make "new wine." If marriage has Jesus--when all the "wine" of the couples own strengths, attributes, relationship capabilities "dry up." Jesus in the marriage, if allowed, comes in and turns the most simple water into the "sweetest wine." And as in the wedding of Cana--the wine made by the Lord, was the "best" wine--sweeter than the first wine. The marriage feast continues, and the couple and the guests are happier than at the beginning.

Just a thought.

Jesus Waits For Me

2012-01-05T13:06:00.003-07:00

Sometimes, I feel a bit down. Sometimes I miss Mass. Sometimes I wonder if Jesus really wants me to be with Him--there are so many more people who love Him even more, and worship Him so much better than I. People who follow His teachings, who have greater self-control, greater self-discipline than I. So many more worthy people in the world--who are so much smarter than I--who know not only the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but can name the fruits. How I don't even know the most simple memorization. How is it? That my Lord, waits for me?!

Arms Of an Angel - Sarah McLaughlin

2012-01-03T12:38:00.000-07:00

Saint Bridget Prayers--"Beyond Priceless!"

2012-01-03T11:30:00.005-07:00

This morning, getting on my blog to post, I had an unpublished comment that I am sharing with you. It was to pray the Saint Bridget twelve year prayers.

Here is what Josh F said:I encourage people to pick up this prayer. It does not take more than ten minutes to say and becomes a part of your life after just a few months. In the three years I have been saying this prayer, my faith in God has grown much. It give me strength and hope in life, and helped me through my years in high school and does so now in college. The graces offered in St. Bridget's prayer are beyond priceless. Take a few minutes in your day and give them to God through this prayer.

Joy! Joy! Joy!

2011-12-21T09:52:00.009-07:00

The Gospel reading at Mass today was:

Mary set out in those days
and traveled to the hill country in haste
to a town of Judah,
where she entered the house of Zechariah
and greeted Elizabeth.
When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting,
the infant leaped in her womb,
and Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit,
cried out in a loud voice and said,
"Most blessed are you among women,
and blessed is the fruit of your womb.
And how does this happen to me,
that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
For at the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears,
the infant in my womb leaped for joy.
Blessed are you who believed
that what was spoken to you by the Lord
would be fulfilled."

When praying the Rosary, this is one of my most favorite "mysteries" to pray. And this is one of my favorite pictures of the mystery--as their is so much great JOY in Elizabeth's face as she welcomes our Lord, in the tabernacle of Mary! Today, my sweetest daughter Karen is flying in from New York--and there is GREAT JOY in my heart as I wait for her visit. Tears of Joy keep welling up in my eyes, and today's Gospel reading reminds me of the same joy Elizabeth must have felt at greeting Mary and Jesus.

Sometimes, I wonder why we celebrate Christmas with so much festivity, when truly our Lord came into the world at the Annunciation--when Mary said her "fiat" and Jesus was incarnated in her womb. That is the true day of celebration--but perhaps because the secular world picked up on the gift-giving idea, the Nativity of Our Lord became a larger feast day? But that's okay, because the coming of our Lord into the world for us--is the most important thing in our lives--EVER!

The secular world, has also picked up on the Santa Clause figure, from of course one of our own Catholic saints--St. Nicholas, whose feast day is December 6th. Nothing wrong with Santa Claus and nothing wrong with giving, like our blessed St. Nicholas gave, but this feast day is not all about St. Nicholas day--the coming of Santa Claus, or in our or his giving, but in the coming of our Lord JESUS! The great gift of God to man.

This feast day, in a few days, is about the Nativity--the birth of Jesus in "the house of bread" Bethlehem! Our God, gave us Himself, as an infant, the Great God--helpless, and placed Himself into the hands of sinful men--to do with Him whatever they want--totally helpless--even thirty-three years later to kill Him on a Cross. Will you receive this "helpless" Christmas gift, and if you will, will you receive Him with great joy as did Elizabeth in today's Gospel? And will you hold Him close, and kiss his little face, keep Him safe, protect Him from the world. Feed His hungry stomach, and wipe His sorrowful tears? Will you welcome Him with "open arms" with great JOY, JOY, JOY?!

The Cover

2011-12-06T20:33:00.001-07:00

My daughter--who is a food stylist in New York, did the cover of Bon Appetite for December--WOW! I am so proud of her! Congratulations Karen!

Difficult Test In His Flesh

2011-12-06T20:26:00.005-07:00

Even St. Paul was restless and asked to be relieved of the difficult test in his flesh..but was he not assured that the help of grace would always be sufficient for him?

Our enemy, who is committed to our harm, wants to convince you otherwise, but spurn him in the name of Jesus and laugh at him. This is the best remedy for beating him into retreat. He becomes emboldened by our weakness, but when someone confronts him with a weapon in hand, he becomes a coward. ---Father Padre Pio

Aaron Neville - Jesus Loves Me

2011-12-06T11:22:00.000-07:00

Secular CarmeliteTemporary Promises 2011

2011-11-27T21:12:00.004-07:00

Robin and I trying to be all reverant and holy :)

The Ogden Carmelites--and Father Erik

Making our Temporary Promises to the Carmelite Secular Order.

Michael, Martha and Cathy, were clothed in the brown scapular. Robin and I took our Temporary Promises to the Secular Carmelite order, with Father Erik and Jeanne.
Jesus, what we desire most, is closer union with God! He Called us, and we are responding to His Call.

Vení, vení emmanuel.MPG

2011-11-27T20:05:00.000-07:00

Paradigm Shift

2011-11-26T17:30:00.005-07:00

Yesterday, I started studying St. John of the Cross. Ahh, I did not understand it at all!!! Oh, my gosh, here I just took my temporary promises to the Carmelites--and now was I to flunk out already?! So, doing what I've always done, I took it to the base level, reading and trying to understand just one paragraph at a time--seeing pictures in my head--then it all started to come together, and I was able to complete the first assignment--and I liked it!!! At first there was a bit of panic, as St. John tells us that in order to enter into closer spiritual union with our Lord--we must detach from all things of this world--yes, it's true. But as my Spiritual Director informed me--we detach according to our state in life.

Just recently, reading about St. Anthony of Egypt--he would come into contact with others, but quickly go back to his hermitage--so he could remain in a detached state--staying with others would only distract him from his prayers. He ate only bread and water--the "loaves" were delivered by caring people. Talk about detachment! But not everyone is called to be a St. Anthony--for if they were--who would be in the towns making the "loaves" to deliver to St. Anthony? Some of us are called to other ways of life.

So, when St. John of the Cross, tells me, that I must detach--what he really is telling me, is to detach from "inordinate" desires or attachments--according to my state in life--like my inordinate desire for food, or my self-absorption. It would be unreasonable and against my Lord to detach from the commitments that are mine to my husband and family.

Well, it is officially the start of Advent, and it used to be a penitential season, but now, we just have a great old time. But this Advent, thinking of getting in closer union with God, and having some deeper studies to postulate and learn, I'm going to detach myself from a few things during this season--one of which--is a desire to shift away from my self-absorption. And where does that self-absorption manifest itself the most--HA--in my blogging and facebook.

My priest, who is also my Spiritual Director, took me aside after Mass the other day, and gave me a new perspective on some things--where I was truly in error in my thinking--in my self-absorption--having a bit of a paradigm shift, my focus needs to be on more human contact--seeing others in a new light--looking at them from a different perspective. Sorta like stepping back from looking at a forest with my nose pressed up against the bark of a tree--that is self-absorption. I want to see the sunset, the forest floor with the crawly things, and plants, the light rays shining through the leaves. But stuck in an animated non-real two dimensional world of computers--hmmmmm.

My friend Angela, who used to have a blog--sheesh, sometimes she is greatly missed, but she was smart and just stopped blogging altogether. And she also stopped all her facebook activity. She's probably happier now, and closer to God. Since first starting to blog--some of my favorite blogs have just stopped--perhaps out of boredom--perhaps out of more pressing life issues? Perhaps because they wanted to see the real crawly bugs on the forest floor. Well, I'm going to join them, until the end of Advent--then I'll be back!

Happy Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-24T13:46:00.011-07:00

And now, bless the God of all,
who has done wondrous things on earth;
Who fosters people''s growth from their mother''s womb,
and fashions them according to his will!
May he grant you joy of heart
and may peace abide among you;
May his goodness toward us endure in Israel
to deliver us in our days.

Happy Thanksgiving! This Thanksgiving found Jim and I at Mass, no way better to start a day of Thanksgiving than by going to hang with the family--my real family--my family of Heaven. In Father's homily he said that, of course we should be thankful--for all we have, but, if for nothing else we should be thankful for the life we have been given.

But this Thanksgiving, there is something that I am even more profoundly grateful for--even more thankful for than my life. I am so immensely thankful for the gift of Faith! What good would my life be, if out of eternity--my breath of a short 80-100 years of life, what if I had never come to know God!? My entire existence would have no meaning, no purpose. After I'm dead, anything that I have done on earth would one day vanish--never to be remembered by anyone.

Thinking of my friend's brother--who is lucky to be alive today--after having an abdominal aneurysm repaired--an easy death sentence--no, God allowed him to live a bit longer. This Thanksgiving, he's in the hospital recuperating from his life-saving surgery. He still has his gift of life. As a nurse, I don't believe doctors sometimes realize how valuable their gift of being a doctor is to others--they seriously save lives.

The doctor's "saved" his most valuable gift--life. If there were no doctors there--he would probably be dead--a loss of his gift. But what I'm thinking about today--is the loss of the gift of Faith! If we were to lose our Faith--what a even greater tragedy would that be than even losing our very life itself! For what good is our life without a relationship to God? Myself, not knowing God for most of my life--never knowing I needed Him--but then being give the "gift," astounding! Even more astounding is being able to go to Mass daily and receive my Lord--people in China may only be able to receive Him once a year--if ever. And here I am so very, very, blessed!

But with great blessings, come greater responsibilities--doctors have been more greatly blessed--with their high intelligence--the schooling they have--they are required not just to sit on their blessings--the gifts--they are given--they are required to spend long hours--being called at all hours of the day and night--to use those "gifts" to help save peoples lives. Same with us, who have been given the gift of Faith--the ones who receive our Lord daily! We have a greater responsibility to use those gifts also for the benefit of mankind--to help "save" other's souls!!!

Today, at Mass, so very, very, grateful to my Lord for plucking me out of the secular world to bring me close in relationship with Him. I offered my Mass for the Salvation of my friend's brother who is now recuperating from surgery--for his physical healing--but also for his spiritual healing! For his eyes to be opened--as were mine--from the darkness to the light. Given great gifts from God, my responsibility is great--to give the gift everyday that the Lord has given to me. Lord, I pray, that you give Your most marvelous gifts of Faith to others--especially to my friend's brother this day--for someone prayed for me, they used the gifts You gave them Lord--and gave the gift away.

St. Bridget prayers for a Whole Year

2011-11-21T22:14:00.003-07:00

I've already posted the 12-year prayers of St. Bridget--but I also am praying the one year prayers: And because of #20 below--I want you to pray them with me :)
Our Lord made the following promises to anyone who recited the 15 St. Bridget Prayers for a whole year:

Promises
1. I will deliver 15 souls of his lineage from Purgatory.

2. 15 souls of his lineage will be confirmed and preserved in grace.

3. 15 sinners of his lineage will be converted.

4. Whoever recites these Prayers will attain in the first degree of perfection.

5. 15 days before his death I will give him My Precious Body in order that he may escape eternal starvation; I will give him My Precious Blood to drink lest he thirst eternally.

6. 15 days before his death he will feel a deep contrition for all his sins and will have a perfect knowledge of them.

7. I will place before him the sign of My Victorious Cross for his help and defense against the attacks of his enemies.

8. Before his death I shall come with My Dearest Beloved Mother.

9. I shall graciously receive his soul, and will lead it into eternal joys.

10. And having led it there I shall give him a special draught from the fountain of My Deity, something I will not for those who have not recited My Prayers.

11. Let it be known that whoever may have been living in the state of mortal sin for 30 years, but who will recite devoutly, or have the intention to recite these Prayers, the Lord will forgive him all his sins.

12. I shall protect him from strong temptations.

13. I shall preserve and guard his 5 senses.

14. I shall preserve him from a sudden death.

15. His soul will be delivered from eternal death.

16. He will obtain all he asks for from God and the Blessed Virgin.

17. If he has lived all his life doing his own will and he is to die the next day, his life will be prolonged.

18. Every time one recites these Prayers he gains 100 days indulgence.

19. He is assured of being joined to the supreme Choir of Angels.

20. Whoever teaches these Prayers to another, will have continuous joy and merit which will endure eternally.

21. There where these prayer are being said or will be said in the future God is present with His grace.

First Prayer Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus Christ! Eternal Sweetness to those who love Thee, joy surpassing all joy and all desire, Salvation and Hope of all sinners, Who hast proved that Thou hast no greater desire than to be among men, even assuming human nature at the fullness of time for the love of men, recall all the sufferings Thou hast endured from the instant of Thy conception, and especially during Thy Passion, as it was decreed and ordained from all eternity in the Divine plan.

Remember, O Lord, that during the Last Super with Thy disciples, having washed their feet, Thou gavest them Thy Most Precious Body and Blood, and while at the same time Thou didst sweetly console them, Thou didst foretell them Thy coming Passion.

Remember the sadness and bitterness which Thou didst experience in Thy Soul as Thou Thyself bore witness saying: “My Soul is sorrowful even unto death.”

Remember all the fear, anguish and pain that Thou didst suffer in Thy delicate Body before the torment of the Crucifixion, when, after having prayed three times, bathed in a sweat of blood, Thou wast betrayed by Judas, Thy disciple, arrested by the people of a nation Thou hadst chosen and elevated, accused by false witnesses, unjustly judged by three judges during the flower of Thy youth and during the solemn Paschal season.

Remember that Thou wast despoiled of Thy garments and clothed in those of derision; that Thy Face and Eyes were veiled, that Thou wast buffeted, crowned with thorns, a reed placed in Thy Hands, that Thou was crushed with blows and overwhelmed with affronts and outrages.

In memory of all these pains and sufferings which Thou didst endure before Thy Passion on the Cross, grant me before my death true contrition, a sincere and entire confession, worthy satisfaction and the remission of all my sins. Amen

Second Prayer
Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! True liberty of angels, Paradise of delights, remember the horror and sadness which Thou didst endure when Thy enemies, like furious lions, surrounded Thee, and by thousands of insults, spits, blows, lacerations and other unheard-of-cruelties, tormented Thee at will. In consideration of these torments and insulting words, I beseech Thee, O my Savior, to deliver me from all my enemies, visible and invisible, and to bring me, under Thy protection, to the perfection of eternal salvation. Amen

Third Prayer
Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! Creator of Heaven and earth Whom nothing can encompass or limit, Thou Who dost enfold and hold all under Thy Loving power, remember the very bitter pain Thou didst suffer when the Jews nailed Thy Sacred Hands and Feet to the Cross by blow after blow with big blunt nails, and not finding Thee in a pitiable enough state to satisfy their rage, they enlarged Thy Wounds, and added pain to pain, and with indescribable cruelty stretched Thy Body on the Cross, pulled Thee from all sides, thus dislocating Thy Limbs. I beg of Thee, O Jesus, by the memory of this most Loving suffering of the Cross, to grant me the grace to fear Thee and to Love Thee. Amen.

Fourth Prayer Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! Heavenly Physician, raised aloft on the Cross to heal our wounds with Thine, remember the bruises which Thou didst suffer and the weakness of all Thy Members which were distended to such a degree that never was there pain like unto Thine. From the crown of Thy Head to the Soles of Thy Feet there was not one spot on Thy Body that was not in torment, and yet , forgetting all Thy sufferings, Thou didst not cease to pray to Thy heavenly Father for Thy enemies, saying “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”

Through this great Mercy, and in memory of this suffering, grant that the remembrance of Thy Most Bitter Passion may effect in us a perfect contrition and the remission of all our sins. Amen.

Fifth Prayer
Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! Mirror of eternal splendor, remember the sadness which Thou experienced, when contemplating in the light of Thy Divinity the predestination of those who would be saved by the merits of Thy Sacred passion, Thou didst see at the same time, the great multitude of reprobates who would be damned for their sins, and Thou didst complain bitterly of those hopeless lost and unfortunate sinners.

Through this abyss of compassion and pity, and especially through the goodness which Thou displayed to the good thief when Thou saidst to him: “This day, thou shalt be with Me in paradise.” I beg of Thee, O Sweet Jesus, that at the hour of my death, Thou wilt show me mercy. Amen.

Sixth Prayer
Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! Beloved and most desirable King, remember the grief Thou didst suffer, when naked and like a common criminal, Thou was fastened and raised on the Cross, when all Thy relatives and friends abandoned Thee, except Thy Beloved Mother, who remained close to Thee during Thy agony and whom Thou didst entrust to Thy faithful disciple when Thou saidst to Mary: “Woman, behold thy son!” and to St. John: “Son, behold thy Mother!”

I beg of Thee O my Savior, by the sword of sorrow which pierced the soul of Thy holy Mother, to have compassion on me in all my affliction and tribulations, both corporal and spiritual, and to assist me in all my trials, and especially at the hour of my death. Amen

Seventh Prayer
Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! Inexhaustible Fountain of compassion, Who by a profound gesture of Love, said from the Cross: “I thirst!” suffered from the thirst for the salvation of the human race. I beg of Thee O my Savior, to inflame in our hearts the desire to tend toward perfection in all our acts; and to extinguish in us the concupiscence of the flesh and the ardor of worldly desires. Amen

Eighth Prayer
Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! Sweetness of hearts, delight of the spirit, by the bitterness of the vinegar and gall which Thou didst taste on the Cross for Love of us, grant us the grace to receive worthily Thy Precious Body and Blood during our life and at the hour of our death, that they may serve as a remedy and consolation for our souls. Amen

Ninth Prayer
Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! Royal virtue, joy of the mind, recall the pain Thou didst endure when, plunged in an ocean of bitterness at the approach of death, insulted, outraged by the Jews, Thou didst cry out in a loud voice that Thou was abandoned by Thy Father, saying: “My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken me?”

Through this anguish, I beg of Thee, O my Savior, not to abandon me in the terrors and pains of my death. Amen

Tenth Prayer
Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! Who art the beginning and end of all things, life and virtue, remember that for our sakes Thou was plunged in an abyss of suffering from the soles of Thy Feet to the crown of Thy Head. In consideration of the enormity of Thy Wounds, teach me to keep, through pure love, Thy Commandments, whose way is wide and easy for those who love Thee. Amen

Eleventh Prayer
Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! Deep abyss of mercy, I beg of Thee, in memory of Thy Wounds which penetrated to the very marrow of Thy Bones and to the depth of Thy being, to draw me, a miserable sinner, overwhelmed by my offenses, away from sin and to hide me from Thy Face justly irritated against me, hide me in Thy Wounds, until Thy anger and just indignation shall have passed away. Amen

Twelfth Prayer
Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! Mirror of Truth, symbol of unity, link of Charity, remember the multitude of wounds with which Thou was covered from head to foot, torn and reddened by the spilling of Thy adorable blood. O great and universal pain which Thou didst suffer in Thy virginal flesh for love of us! Sweetest Jesus! What is there that Thou couldst have done for us which Thou hast not done! May the fruit of Thy sufferings be renewed in my soul by the faithful remembrance of Thy passion, and may Thy love increase in my heart each day, until I see Thee in eternity, Thou Who art the treasury of every real good and every joy, which I beg Thee to grant me, O sweetest Jesus, in Heaven. Amen

Thirteenth Prayer
Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! Strong Lion, Immortal and Invincible King, remember the pain which Thou didst endure when all Thy strength, both moral and physical, was entirely exhausted, Thou didst bow Thy head, saying: “It is consummated!”

Through this anguish and grief, I beg of Thee Lord Jesus, to have mercy on me at the hour of my death when my mind will be greatly troubled and my soul will be in anguish. Amen

Fourteenth Prayer
Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! Only Son of the Father, splendor and figure of His substance remember the simple and humble recommendation Thou didst make of Thy Soul to Thy Eternal Father, saying: “Father, into Thy Hands I commend My Spirit!” And with Thy body all torn, and Thy Heart broken, and the bowels of Thy mercy open to redeem us, Thou didst expire. By this precious death, I beg of Thee O King of Saints, comfort me and help me to resist the devil, the flesh and the world, so that being dead to the world I may live for Thee alone. I beg of Thee at the hour of my death to receive me, a pilgrim and an exile returning to Thee. Amen

Fifteenth Prayer
Our Father – Hail Mary.
O Jesus! True and fruitful Vine! Remember the abundant outpouring of Blood which Thou didst so generously shed from Thy Sacred Body as juice from grapes in a wine press.

From Thy Side, pierced with a lance by a soldier, blood and water issued forth until there was not left in Thy Body a single drop, and finally, like a bundle of myrrh lifted to the top of the Cross, Thy delicate flesh was destroyed, the very Substance of Thy Body withered, and the Marrow of Thy Bones dried up.

Through this bitter Passion and through the outpouring of Thy precious Blood, I beg of Thee, O Sweet Jesus, to receive my soul when I am in my death agony. Amen

Conclusion

O Sweet Jesus! Pierce my heart so that my tears of penitence and love will be my bread day and night; may I be converted entirely to Thee, may my heart be Thy perpetual habitation, may my conversation be pleasing to Thee, and my the end of my life be so praiseworthy that I may merit Heaven and there with Thy saints, praise Thee forever. Amem.

Keep Christ In Christmas!

2011-11-21T13:20:00.010-07:00

"Keep Christ in Christmas" "Jesus is the reason for the season." So it starts. These sayings make my skin crawl. Why? Because where I live the Mormons send cards with this saying and I hear this all season long. Mormons claim to be "Christian" "we believe in the same Jesus just as you do" they say. "We have His name in our official church name--therefore we must be Christian."

Saint Anthony of Egypt, when the Arians asserted to him, that the Arian opinions were the same as his beliefs, he was displeased and angry--just as I am when the Mormons say their opinions are the same as Christians. This is what Saint Anthony said to the Arians: "their heresy was the last of all and a forerunner of Antichrist. And he taught the people that the Son of God was not a created being, neither had He came into being from nonexistence, but that He was the Eternal Word and Wisdom of the Essence of the Father. And therefore it was impious to say, 'there was a time when He was not.'for the Word was always co-existent with the Father. Wherefore have no fellowship with the most impious Arians. For there is no communion between light and darkness. 2 Cor 6:14 For you are good Christians, but they, when they say that the Son of the Father, the Word of God, is a created being, differ in nought from the heathen, since they worship that which is created, rather than God, the Creator, But believe that the Creation itself is angry with them because they number the Creator, the Lord of all, by whom all things came into being, with those things which were originated...."

Instead of saying this to the Arians--it would be so very easy to insert Mormons for the word Arians today. Mormons believe that God the Father possesses a Physical Body. They believe He is just an exalted man, they believe God became God, that there are infinite gods, The finite, changeable Mormon God is not the God of the Bible, not the God of the Early Church Fathers, not the God of all Christian tradition. He is an imagining of their prophet--smith--with changeable views, as changeable as all their doctrines.

God never changes, He is the same today, yesterday, and forever! There is only one God, Infinite, unchanging--for how can one change that which is perfect, He is all knowing, all powerful, all present, He is eternal--never was there a time when He did not exist. Not so for the mormon god who is just one of an long succession of gods. If you don't believe me--check the Bible--all over are verses that tell us that God is all these things--no where does it say that God is the Mormon god. Nowhere!

To the Mormons, Jesus Christ is a lesser god than the Father and the Holy Ghost is even lower. They believe Jesus did not exist in the beginning with the Father--but created later. But the Word was always co-existent with the Father. What does the Bible say in John? In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God from the beginning. He was in the beginning with God... If their Jesus was not in the beginning with God--not the same Christian God.

They do not pray to Jesus--but to the Father in the name of Jesus--because they do not believe Jesus is God. Wow, what a different God is their god apart from the true God of the Bible! The Christian Jesus, died on a Cross to save us from ALL our sins--there is no unforgivable sin--except for one--and that one sin is to believe that Jesus' sacrifice cannot wash away your sin. The Mormons believe this exactly--the unforgivable sin--that Jesus's suffering and dying is not sufficient to forgive every sin. One of those sins is murder and another is apostasy from their church. This directly is against the Christian Bible "the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin (1 John 1:7). Mormon's belief of who the person of Jesus is--is not the same as Christian belief.

If Mormons no longer believe in the Bible--changing meaning as needed to fit their changable doctorines--what part of Christianity do they have left? Protestants do the same thing--they have thrown out the Apostolic Church--with all the Sacraments, Thrown out Tradition, and say they cling to the Bible, without which they would have no Christianity at all. But they change meaning according to their own whims, so have they not truly thrown out the entirety of Christianity?

In their own church--their own leaders have said that they do in fact have "another changeable Jesus." So why they want to cling to mainstream "Christianity" when they are so far from being Christian--I suppose for the respectability of the name "Christian," So they can draw others to their false religion with claims of knowing Jesus--who for true Christians is true God--true Man. But they are wolves in sheep's clothing, when they claim the same Jesus as Christians.

Poison of Serpents

2011-11-21T10:35:00.006-07:00

Have you ever had nagging thoughts to read something!? Thoughts of Saint Anthony keep coming to my mind--it's like he's trying to talk with me. So today on my day off, I'm reading a book about Saint Anthony of Egypt. Saint Anthony rejected the schism of Meletius and the heresies of Manes and Arius. Sometimes, living in a world saturated with the enemy religion--Mormonism--I am loathe to have to interact with them daily. Not that they are unpleasant people, for many are very kind and have most excellent social manners. However, they believe in ideas so foreign to Christianity, they are true heretics!

From the book, "Life of Saint Anthony" Saint Anthony: "was altogether wonderful in faith and religious, for he never held communion with the Meletian schismatics, knowing their wickedness and apostasy from the beginning; nor had he friendly dealings with the Manichean's or any other heretics; or, if he had, only as far as advice that they should change to piety. for he thought and asserted that intercourse with these was harmful and destructive to the soul. In the same manner also he loathed the heresy of the Arians, and exhorted all neither to approach them nor to hold their erroneous belief. And once when certain Arian madmen came to him, when he had questioned them and learned their impiety, he drove them from the mountain, saying that their words were worse than the poison of serpents."

Well, I'm not living as a hermit on the Mountain--not sure I could handle living off bread and water, in a cave, with no comforts of a home. But, I do share the same loathing for the heresy of the Mormons, and think that these Mormon mad men speak with the poison of serpents. And like Saint Anthony, I would exhort to neither approach them, nor to hold their erroneous belief. Isn't it interesting, that heresies were just as prevalent almost 2000 years ago, in Saint Anthony's day, as they are today. And just as many saints are needed to fight off their heresy!

Unfolding

2011-11-21T08:47:00.002-07:00

Jim bought me this really cool flower bulb--it's unfolding into it's blossom.

Old Hands

2011-11-15T10:31:00.006-07:00

Having a friend who is a photographer--she came to my Carmelite Temporary Promises and took pictures of the occasion. So far, she has posted two pictures to facebook--one in black and white, and one in color, that I think is absolutely lovely. In the black and white picture, all I could notice on the photograph were my "old hands." Somehow the black and white coloring seemed to enhance the appearance of age.

On anticipation of my special day--of making my promise, I gave myself a manicure--even pushing back the cuticles and all, something that had not done since my younger days. Polishing my nails--looking at the beautiful smooth polish on my old, strong, rough hands, there was nothing delicate or beautiful about them, and somehow the prettiness of the light pink polish seemed to accentuate the roughness of the hands.

Father Erik, in his homily recently, said that we needed to take inventory of how we spent our time--and make appropriate adjustments to be better stewards of our time. Looking at my old hands and thinking of all the years of use they had provided me, and all the work, frivolity, and sin done by them, there was a bit of horror in how I had mistreated them--mistreated the time God given me--mistreated my soul. Father also says that we are given "physical" things to assist us to getting to Heaven--our bodies. Fifty-five years, my hands have been with me--when I hand my hands back to my Lord--will he say, well done Tara, or look how you have squandered the gifts given to you?

Thinking of the saints and how much time the Lord had given some of them--many died young, before their hands had become old with time--they became holy early--did the works of the Lord early--but here I was--needing much more time than them to figure out what my purpose in life was all about--to love God--to serve Him with the gifts He gave me. Nothing else--nothing. Thinking of the little time our Lord gave some of the saints, perhaps there was still time left for me--to become holy. In the movie "Schindler's List"--at the end, Schindler was so distraught, even though he had saved so many--he was distraught and said, "look, if I had just sold my golden wedding ring, I could have saved a life. My CAR! If I had sold my car! How many more lives could I have saved?" He was distraught because he new how many more could have been saved from Hitlers hands. Will I in the end say, "if only" I had started earlier!

For my Carmelite promises, I wanted it to be "special." It was an important day for me. And so I even bought a new dress--was this frivolous Lord to want to look my best on such a special day--a day that I would spend making a promise before God!? No, it is not frivolous to look our best--especially when we come into the presence of the Lord. One of my fellow church members said--"your dress looks just like something Barbara Bush would wear." Well for her--who hates the Bush family, it was not a compliment--but I took it as a compliment--for I pretty much like President Bush and how he helped our country. Not like the now President that she voted for--who with his hands is messing up our country--covering them with blood from the abortions of many innocent baby hands that are not yet strong enough to prevent their own mothers from taking their lives.

These old hands of mine are still strong and raised up in prayer--against the evil of the world, perhaps they may help even just one life. But, that would be one life more than if they had not been raised in prayer at all. Just like Schindler--he could not stop all the atrocities of the war--but he helped so many. So, with not much more time left--these old hands who have seen better days--well, Lord, take them for they belong to You! May they always serve You and never do anything contrary to Your Will again!!!

Secular Carmelites Praying

2011-11-13T21:56:00.002-07:00

This Morning

2011-11-13T08:09:00.015-07:00

This morning I awoke with the most peaceful lovely feeling--ahh, someone must be praying for me. No doubt, my Carmelite sisters, on this my most special day--the day that I made promises to my Lord in the Carmelites. Before going to sleep last night reading the book, "Consoling the Heart of Jesus" waking, I had the most strange dream--and it's easy to see the meaning. Be careful what you read or think about going to bed at night.

In the dream, I was at home--surrounded by stuff--living in a house overlooking the city, all of a sudden there was a strangeness. Hiding myself behind a wall looking out over the city, everything before my eyes started turning to stone, and a great big harvester started tearing up the entire city. Then the harvester reached my home, a giant machine arm went up and snap, snap, snap the machine covered the window of my house by snapping on a huge cloth.

Going to the other side of the house and hiding looking up out the bathroom window--would the machine also cover the rest of the house? All of a sudden, new clothes appeared on my body, and going to the front door there was a man, all dark, all I could see was his darkness--he was taking stuff out of my house--"hand me those CD's" he said. "What are you going to do with a bunch of old CD's with 50's music?" I asked, handing them to him. Ugh, and turning away from him, walking into the rest of my house--it was gleaming clean, with shining hardwood floors and light--nothing was in the bright rooms. I smiled.

Walking through the clean rooms to the outside, there were large groups of people gathered under canopies--they were crowded and complaining and turning to stone. Get on the bleachers, a voice said to me, but climbing them there were a few of the people who were turning to stone sitting on them--a man with his young daughter clinging to him, "with them here, there won't be enough room for us!" a woman cried. "Don't worry, there will be plenty of room for us," I said taking a seat. A small child with a happy face came and sat next to me, of course, this beautiful child would be here and my heart was filled with pure joy. Turning to look at the stone people sitting on the bleachers, they were instantly gone, and only alive happy people sat next to me. End of dream.

Contemplating the meaning of the dream, in light of today--the day that I made my promises of living, chastity, poverty, obedience, and the beatitudes--in the Secular Carmelite Order. Thinking of all the negative judgemental unsupportive people in my life who tried to discourage me from this day--including satan himself, speaking to my mind, saying that no way was my calling to include that of being a Secular Carmelite. "Oh, how unworthy YOU are Tara!" Thankfully, I had my spiritual director to encourage me, and the Carmelites praying for me :)

This day was a most important day in my life--for, in taking my promises, it made me more fully a Carmelite Secular--It solidified the fact that I truly am a Carmelite, in fact now I am allowed to use the initials O.C.D.S after my name. It's kinda scary, because at the same time it means that my Lord has given me more graces, and with more graces, it means my responsibility is greater. He also gave me a new name, a name that carries with it a "charism."

In the book I was reading last night, a book--the Lord placed in my hands by Divine Providence--for me to have a deeper understanding of my new "calling." my new name, given to me by my Lord, through my beloved Father Erik: Mary Grace of the Divine Mercy. My Lord has instructed me to exactly what that calling entails--to have "mercy" on others. For my old "stony" heart to be crumbled away and for a new, "merciful" heart to take it's place.

The author of the book said that when we remove the insensitivity of our hearts and give mercy to others, it's like giving those wandering in a dry old desert a cool drink of water. It refreshes their hearts and gives them hope. On the other hand when we are unmerciful, insensitive to the needs of others--when we are judgemental of them, we kill their spirits. The author told of Cardinal Christoph Schonborn who said of the meaning of mercy: A hard heart is the opposite of mercy. How much we must implore God so our hearts do not become hardened like stone! Our hearts must not become insensitive! In fact, insensitivity is the primary sin of man against God and neighbor. Hardness of heart separates us from God, is the loss of our humanity, and causes so much suffering. it is also that which brought Jesus to the Cross and caused his death---it is that which crucified him! Only the love of God that reaches as far as the Cross can open a breach in our hardened hearts.

Being judgemental of others--without knowing all the circumstances--is perhaps the most easy way to harden our hearts toward another. For example, last year, having mono, my strength was so dismal that one day laying in bed--cold--the blankets at my feet--no way did I have the strength to even reach down and pull the covers over myself--and remained cold. One Sunday, so tired, going to Mass, I pleaded with a woman to be the usher for me for the day, "please, I need a break, I said to her." "Oh, poor Tara needs a break" she said with a look of disdain...had not her own life been very difficult, and this spoiled Tara wants a break!...she went on, but I did not have the strength to tell her that I was sick with mono, and even though on the outside, you could not tell by my appearance my extreme exhaustion--she judged me by my appearance, of looking perfectly capable to her. Well, she agreed to usher for me, probably thinking what a lazy spoiled girl was that Tara--oh well.

And so it is, with those of an unmerciful heart--those with a cold stony judgemental heart. Saint Josemaria Escriva said of those who judge: "It is oversimplicity on your part to judge the value of apostolic undertakings by what you can see of them. With that standard you would have to prefer a ton of coal to a handful of diamonds."

Of course in my dream, the persons turning to stone were the judgmental, who with their continuing unmercifulness--turned their whole selves to stone, and were ground into powder by the harvester--they became inhuman. Each one of us has inside our heart, a piece that is stone cold heart, a judgemental, unmerciful part. But now that I have put on "new clothes" a new name, a new Secular order, a new promise, it is time to allow the Lord to create in me a new and merciful heart--
"Create a new heart for me, O' Lord!"

Final Moments

2011-11-11T12:29:00.008-07:00

"Be assured that the grace of eternal salvation for certain souls in their final moment depends on your prayer." ---Our Lord to St. Faustina

Is our Salvation all dependent upon us? This morning at Communion deacon Bob said that when we stand before our Lord, on our judgement day--we will stand alone, and be judged. This sorta struck an uncomfortable cord in my soul. I understood what he was trying to say--that we are the ones who ultimately make the decision to follow our Lord, or sin, and in our free will, no one else can make that decision for us. True--but I disagree. When I stand before the Lord on my judgement day, I will not be alone.

Jesus and His sacifice will stand with me. Belonging to the Communion of Saints--all the Angels and Saints will stand along side of me--they will intercede for me. My blessed Mother, every time I pray a "Hail Mary," I ask for her to interceded for me at my hour of death, and trust that she will be there with me. All the earthly silent saints--people who sacrificed and prayed for me--to come to this moment in time--will come with me, before the Lord.

Of course, like deacon Bob said, it has to be "my" choice--but is it "my" choice? Jesus said, "you did not choose me, but it is I who choose you."

In the book "Consoling the Heart of Jesus," the writer says, "There's a mysterious respect the Lord has for human free will. He will not (and cannot) force us to choose him and love him. Yet, when we use our free will on behalf of others, we somehow can influence the free will of those other people. How this happens, we don't know. Still because of this influence we can have on one another, Jesus and Mary constantly plead with us to pray and to offer up our sufferings, especially for unrepentant sinners. Think, for instance, of Our Lady of Fatima who was so sad because, as she said to the shepherd children, many souls go to hell because no one prays and offers up suffering for them. Or think of our Lord's sobering words to St. Faustina, "Be assured that the grace of eternal salvation for certain souls in their final moment depends on your prayer."

Today, being so joyfully off work!, I went to one of my "happy" places to pray--Adoration. At Adoration my thoughts turned to Veterans Day--today--a day to remember those who so unselfishly serve their fellow man. How our freedom, is not dependent on ourselves alone--but on the help of others. In every part of life, from the moment we are born, dependent little babies--we need a mom and dad to wipe our bottoms, give us milk, and keep us warm. Our Lord made the human condition that we are all dependent on others.

Just yesterday, as I sat at Mass, a "feeling" as angels were urgently pleading with me to pray--it was hard to concentrate on the Mass--"your mother urgently needs your prayers she is dying!" Not being in contact with my mother--for years--why would I think of this now? "I've prayed for her in the past--she's in God's hands--let Him do with her what He wants," I told the angels. "You must pray for her, she desperately needs your prayers." The angels voices would not let me escape their message, and so I prayed, and offered up my Communion for her conversion to our Lord, "not much good that will do," I grumbled to the angels. My mother's heart has always been hardened to anything of God.

But, after Mass, thinking of St. Therese--she prayed for a very hardened convict to convert--he was sentenced to death--and she prayed he would convert before he died. She did not say--"oh he will never change--he's a criminal he deserves the choices he's made--it's his free will." Deep terror struck my heart. "Tara! how remiss you have been, when so many sinful souls are in need of your prayers, not to pray for even the worst sinners!" I scolded myself. "Did not someone pray for you, a wayward girl, pray for your conversion--are you not today, with our Lord because of someone else's prayers?!" YES!

Our Salvation depends on our free will, to choose our Lord over sin. But our free will is assisted by others--we will not attain Heaven on our own. We NEED the help of others--first to help us turn to the Lord--and then to nourish our faith, and keep us in God's good Graces with prayers. We need to pray, pray, pray for each other. Jesus and Mary plead for our prayers! Why the Lord makes us intercessors in His plan--is unknown--but when I stand before the Lord on my judgement day, I do not want to hear the words, "And where are all the others?!" Ahhh! I must go and pray for the Salvation of Sinners...

Thirty-Third Sunday in Ordinary Time

2011-11-10T06:58:00.005-07:00

This Sunday--on the 33rd Sunday in Ordinary time--at the hour of Divine Mercy--3p.m., at Saint James the Just Catholic Church in Ogden Utah, the superiors of the Teresian Carmel will allow me to take my temporary promises, with the new name of Mary Grace of the Divine Mercy--for 3 years! I'm so excited!!

Why Bother?

2011-11-08T06:44:00.003-07:00

Soft sour-dough bread, fresh carved turkey, real mayonnaise, cranberry sauce--I crave a turkey sandwich from a restaurant in Salt Lake--"School Lunch." The sandwich is so good, that if I lived closer by, it would be easy for me to wait till noon when they open and drive myself down and enjoy the delicious temptation. I have attachment to sin--the sin of food.

This morning, "get up Tara, you need to plan some extra time to drive to the cemetery and pray for dead people." During the first eight days of November one can earn a Plenary Indulgence--each day--for someone who has died. A Plenary indulgence, basically would "spring" them from Purgatory. However, I would have to meet the criteria for that indulgence--go to Mass that day and receive Communion, check--go to Confession within two weeks of gaining the indulgence, check--pray for our most holy Father the Pope, check--pray for the dead in a cemetery with the intentions of gaining an indulgence, check--and, here's the hard part, have no attachment to sin! Rats! So, Tara, why bother to pray for them anyway--don't you have a very strong attachment to the sin of food??? Yes.

My attachment--food, other's may have attachments to other sins. Blessed Matt Talbot--at the age of 13, went to work for some wine merchants and became an alcoholic--a strong attachment to alcohol. Perhaps in a different time or place--there by the grace of God go I. Matt Talbot, after being an alcoholic for 15 years, with God's help, overcame his addiction--"by your Mercy Lord" he would pray! For Matt knew in his own weakness the temptation to alcohol was too strong for him to fight alone--it require God's great Mercy.

Matt Talbot, fell into a situation--working for wine merchants--that gave him the opportunity to develop the attachment. I grew up with a mother who could cook! Life stressors at an early age, well it was easy for me to fall into the situation of turning to food for comfort. The attachment--the coping mechanism--that I developed seriously, in the beginning is perhaps what kept me from going completely insane--it allowed me to distance myself from the life stressors--cope with life.

All of us fall into these attachments--depending on our life circumstances. Some may turn to stealing, sex, hating, judging, gossiping, self-importance, beauty, television--the list could go on forever! Most normal people fight with some sort of attachment--Matt Talbot's attachment to wine, well, for me, it's hard to understand that attachment, as I could easily have a bottle in my house--for years and never be tempted, but place that turkey sandwich in the fridge--and within the hour it would be gone.

So, Satan comes to me in the morning--"Tara, why bother!? Why do you go to the cemetery and pray--you cannot earn a Plenary indulgence for your friends! You, Tara, have attachments to sin--so why bother?" Stay home. No doubt, my friends, and acquaintances, who have died this year, probably went to Purgatory for their own attachments to sin--that's why they are there! So, let them suffer the consequences of their own sinfulness, and ineptness to detach themselves while they were still alive. Oh, Satan's voice sounds very reasonable!?

Ha! But I am not Satan's child, and my Father says pray anyway--yes, I have attachment to sin--but in my deepest desire I want the attachments gone! If my Lord came to me and said, "Tara do you want me to take that attachment away?" "Yes, Lord, immediately!" And so, why bother, because, I pray in the great hope that my prayers will be efficacious to those who are dead, in great hope--my belief is that my Lord will help me overcome my deep attachments before I die--so other's will not have to go to the cemetery and pray for me, because, because, and like Matt Talbot I pray..."by Your Mercy Lord!"

Barbara Bonney " Pie Jesu" Gabriel Fauré

2011-11-02T10:03:00.001-06:00

Kind Lord Jesus,
grant them rest.

Kind Lord Jesus,
grant them everlasting rest.

Destined To Be Someone Else

2011-10-31T09:27:00.009-06:00

Driving to work this morning the sun was shining over the tops of the mountains--touching their tips turning them gold. The tree lined streets were all a glow with Fall color, and the lovely cool air smelled like Fall foliage. How did it get to be Halloween already--the end of October? Tonight after work, I will stay home and pass out candy--while trying not to eat too many candy-bars myself. Life is good, I have been blessed.

Watching a show last night, the priest was giving a presentation on living the discerning life, and he told of an example of St. Therese--the little flower--and said that St. Therese knew very early that her vocation was to the religious life--a life in Carmel as a Carmelite nun. On the night of her profession, she sorta faltered, and all of a sudden was positive that she was not "called" to Carmel, that she should return to her secular life, and that she had been mistaken all those years in thinking she was called to Carmel. St. Therese told her superior who reassured her that her call was valid.

What if St. Therese had talked with someone else who might have directed her to return to secular life--how different would her life have been? I could not help but think of the decisions that I've made over my life--that lead me to where I was today--a nurse driving to work on a beautiful Fall day.

I thought about my husband, and when we met. Was he really my "calling" my "vocation" in life? If circumstances were different, and we did not meet, would I today be married? Not even knowing God way back then, how many poor choices was it easy to make--was he destined to be married to someone else--and somehow--perhaps, his "God-plans" were thwarted by me? Maybe he could be a thousand times happier!

Would I have become a nurse, my interests are truly in investigation and solving mysteries, perhaps when choosing a career, being an investigator would have been a better fit than choosing a career that maybe was not best for me?

Would I have my children or my dogs? How different my life could have been by making a few different choices years ago. Perhaps one of the things that I wonder about most of all, is what was God's plan for my life then--and what is His plan for my life now? For God can bring good--even out of our bad choices. In the Bible readings today it said: "For God delivered all to disobedience, that he might have mercy upon all."

God, in His infinite wisdom, knew my choices. He knew the Mercy He would so generously give me, so perhaps it was God's plan for me to falter--to be disobedient to His Will in preference to my own will. Also, to, later, step away from that disobedience and restore me to life. He knew that I would marry my husband, choose my own career without His help, and have my children and dogs. He knew my choices, and has brought great good out of them, today, I am truly blessed.

But, now, I have another choice to make--in just two short weeks, God has called me to make another huge life changing choice--on taking temporary promises to the Carmelite Secular order--and just like St. Therese, never has a choice felt so certain--in my heart if feels like a "God-calling." My Spiritual Advisor has said "yes" to my "calling" and a deep peace has flooded my soul.

Perhaps, my life was destined to be someone else--in another time and space--but my choices--good or bad--have delivered me to this moment in my life--but now, I know God--and hopefully He will NOT deliver me over to my disobedience any longer--for now I strive to be only obedient to His will. If only back then, someone wiser could have directed my life, perhaps my life would have been so much different--better or worse??? No one but God can tell.

"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!
How inscrutable are his judgments and how unsearchable his ways!

For who has known the mind of the Lord
or who has been his counselor?
Or who has given him anything
that he may be repaid?

For from him and through him and for him are all things.
To God be glory forever. Amen."

What Happened to Chapel Veils?

2011-10-25T13:11:00.005-06:00

One of my friends just said she would like to start wearing the chapel veil to Mass--what ever happened to them anyway? Why did women just instantly throw them away? Does it not very clearly say in the Bible that women should wear them (1 Corinthians 11)? This post is just my own personal observation, I came into the picture after Vatican II. So I asked my Catholic friends who wore them before Vatican II what ever happened to them? Most told me one day they were wearing them--and the next day--thrown away, instantly. Most tell me that they were required, and so if they forgot their veil--some would actually place Kleenex on their head so they could go to Mass. Most told me, that they preferred to wear them--but because of the "new" they stopped wearing them. And others who had to wear the Kleenex said it was liberating to get rid of them.

I've heard the argument of why do we need them anyway--"does a head-covering help us get closer to Jesus?" Well, does holy water help us get closer to Jesus, candles, crucifixes, rosary's? They are all sacramentals, and yes, they can help us get closer to Jesus! I've heard the argument that we are under the authority of a man--and men dictate to us that we should wear them--WHAT!? It sorta says in the Bible--the word of God-that we should wear them. And of course the argument is that they mess up the hair--OY!

So after much contemplation on this sacramental--hearing the beautiful reasons to wear them, as well as the negative--I started wearing one. No longer does Cannon law "require" one to wear them, but if one wants--of course one may choose for themselves. Why, did I wonder, was it Cannon Law to wear a chapel veil, Cannon Law??? That sounds like it's of utmost importance to wear one--and then all of a sudden--not!? If it was so important to cover the head in church, that women needed to even place Kleenex on their heads, it must of had some very good reason. Well of course--one reason comes from the Bible!

In the Bible, it says to wear them, it also says to not place tattoo's on the body--the Bible says much about the way we are to live, and many of the teachings are ignored--in fact it is now "trendy" to have a tattoo.

But what does this all mean to me? To me, it sorta "feels" like a turning away from God--Of course these things are small on the scale of significance--of course, if you forgot your chapel veil--wearing a Kleenex is absurd! What do all these small things matter? Well, my husband does small things for me, loads the dishes, helps me carry a heavy box, holds my hand to steady me on a rocky path--just little small things. But you know, these little small things mean the most to me, they tell me that he loves me, everyday. I sorta wonder if the small things we do for God, wearing a chapel veil--kinda says--wow God you are so important to me, and I, your little daughter, want to be hidden under the mantle of your protection.

And when everything Jesus said and did, could have taken volumes to write--why then did God choose to write these things, condensed in one book, that don't seem to matter anymore?--why did God bother to write them down in the Bible--our guide on how to live our lives? It seems to me, even though they may be small things, they may still be significant to God. Of course, being Catholic, Jesus left us with a Church, not just a book--so our Church no longer "requires" a head covering for women in church--but I kinda think it's a good idea :)

Only To Him

2011-10-23T10:09:00.005-06:00

...for was not Jesus my only friend?? I knew how to speak only to Him, conversations with creatures even pious conversations, fatigued my soul. I felt it was far more valuable to speak to God, than to speak about Him, for there is so much self-love intermingled with spiritual conversations! ---St. Therese

Watered The Earth

2011-10-19T11:19:00.005-06:00

Yet just as from the heavens

the rain and snow come down

And do not return there

till they have watered the earth,

making it fertile and fruitful,

Giving seed to the one who sows

and bread to the one who eats,

11. So shall my word be

that goes forth from my mouth;

It shall not return to me empty,

but shall do what pleases me,

achieving the end for which I sent it.

Takers

2011-10-14T10:48:00.003-06:00

I'm sitting in my safe spot, front row pew in the church. Before me is my Lord upon the altar. Above Him on the wall the crucifix--and image of the Giver. The Giver of life, infinitely gave me of Himself as in the form of bread and wine that is before me now, the Giver gives me food to eat and drink

The church is quiet, with very few street noises outside--cars passing by. I sat up closer to my Lord to feel the warmth of His radiance and can smell the smoky, spicy scent of incense. My "safe" smell.

How I have neglected so to come and visit you at Adoration, not making it a regular commitment--how long has it been since then?--two years. Yes, even though I had no set time, I told myself, I would not neglect to visit my Lord any less than once a week, and now how long has it been? How many opportunities have I missed in the last two years to be with You, talk with You? I'm so sorry Lord.

Last night I watched about five episodes of the show "Wicked Attraction." A show about evil people that seems to draw my attention--well I like investigation, and now that I have direct TV I can record the shows that I want to watch, and easily watch them at my convenience.

But I have another motive for watching the show--I have the desire to make sense out of evil. Why do people do evil? Yesterday, on the show the story told of a man who stole an eleven year old child and kept her in his backyard for his own personal sex slave. She had two children by the abuser--he kept her for years. My wanting to know why a human begin could de-humanize another, and how is it that the innocence are so traumatized--they struggle to make sense of the evil, and almost seem to join to the evil in thier attempt to stay alive. Is this not what our Lord wants of us--to survive--to live even in the face of the most horrible evil? The next thing I wonder is why there always seems to be accomplices to the evil--which makes it even harder for the innocent victim to withdraw from the abuse.

Evil, what is the sense of evil? Evil makes no sense. After watching the shows--it sorta unnerved me--but the conclusion that I arrived at were that evil is selfish--a self-taking of what is not rightfully one's to take--a gluttony of sorts. Against the first commandment--is man making himself god--"God-ness" belongs only to God not man. Adultery is taking what does not belong to man--taking of another's wife. Child abuse, for the relief of anxiety, or to selfishly take pleasure at another's expense--is stealing--the taking of something that is not rightfully one's to take, as is every other sin on the face of the planet--including the first sin--by Adam and Eve--the wanting the knowledge of good and evil that belonged not to them.

Of course, man needs. And in our neediness is where all sin derives from--when we take more than we need, when we take what we want--at other's expense. If, however, we did not take food we would die, if we did not take rest, we would die, if we did not take love, our soul would die. But what makes the taking evil, is when it does not belong to us greedy souls to take. If we take extra food we become fat, If we take extra rest we become slothful. If we take the hate and horribleness of life, we will withdraw from God's love, and close our heart to very life Itself. For we can never take too much love--for God Himself is love. For God's love only can we be greedy!

Many claim the greatest sin of all is the sin of pride, I in my ignorant weak, state would conclude however, that the the most deadly sin is not pride--but greed. The taking of what belongs to another. Greed is contained in everyone of the deadly sins.

Looking up at my Lord on the Altar, He is here for me--giving Himself to me. All good is giving--the opposite of greed--of taking. In giving--did not our Lord give us His all--every drop of His blood--the very flesh of His heart!

In the taking is the evil, in the giving is the good.

It's time for me to go, I have "Worldy things to give to, my dogs, my family, my life--but I want so much to stay here with you Lord--to spend more time taking your Love. Thank you dear Lord for all the great Love you give to me. I know you want me to give more time to you, and I will Lord--You will become the highest priority in my life.

To Prepare

2011-10-12T14:44:00.008-06:00

"but wrath and fury to those who selfishly disobey the truth and obey wickedness."

My husband yelled, "it's time to go." "Oh, yeah," quickly I picked up the muffins that were in the fridge and two bags of cookies, and ran out the door--I was going to my Carmelite meeting. As I pulled out of the driveway, I thought how easy it was to bring the treats--just grab them and go. Easy today, but only the day before, I had to conceive the idea of the treats in my mind, then look up some recipes on line for the pumpkin muffins--go to the store, come home and combine the ingredients--bake them and then clean up the kitchen--the day before--when I prepared for the meeting was when I did all the work.

At our meeting, I had to teach the concept of why it was important for us to read the Bible--meditate on the words, and read writings of our Carmelite saints. Well, so we can prepare ourselves to go to Heaven!

Why do we need to prepare to go to Heaven? Does not our Lord have infinite Mercy!!! Will He not forgive us all, and welcome us home into His Kingdom!? Many protestant churches believe this--all they have to do is accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior--God will forgive them all. But what does Jesus say? He says differently. Jesus says He will forgive us all if we ask for forgiveness, if we follow His Will, and if we do "works" of love.

Going to Heaven would be much like me making the cookies and muffins. First one must conceive the idea in one's head--next gather tools and ingredients, like the Church, the Bible, examples of saints, and then actually prepare the ingredients--meditate on the word of God, do acts of kindness, follow the "recipe" or in this case the teaching of Jesus, go to Mass, receive our Lord. After all this preparation, when we are all done and "baked" when we die, we can just grab the muffins and cookies out of the fridge and go on home to Jesus. It will be an easy task then, because we have prepared ourselves.

Too many people I personally know, seem to think that just being a "good ole boy" will get them to Heaven. "I'm a good person," they say. They are kind to those they love, they even go to church on Sunday, don't steal or kill anyone--well maybe support abortion, use birth control, celebrate homosexual deviation--"happy coming out day," think marriage can be extended to two men or two women, have sex outside of marriage, masturbate...well I could go on--but "they" think they are a "good ole boy" and whatever minor sins they commit--God will forgive them on judgement day. They tolerate other religions--"whatever you believe" is okay with them--"well, we shouldn't judge anyone else's relation to God."

But what does Jesus say? Seriously, What does Jesus say is sin? Jesus says to enter the kingdom of Heaven is not an easy task. To enter the kingdom of Heaven we have to prepare ourselves. In the parable, in the Bible, of the ten virgins--I think of five of the "virgins" did not make it to the "Wedding feast." They were "virgins" which means God had given them graces, they were still pure--they didn't even have sex outside of marriage--but that in itself did not guarantee them Heaven! Even in God's great infinite Mercy--they didn't make Heaven.

Today, in Father Erik's homily at Mass--he said that we need both God's infinite love, as well as His judgement. God will judge our hearts, with great love. But we will be mistaken if we think breaking His laws is not a problem, just look at the five virgins who didn't even break those laws. But what then does it take to obtain Heaven? We have "to prepare" ourselves. Sorta like, once we have the ingredients--we have to prepare the batter, bake the cookies, and clean up the kitchen after making the mess. We gotta do the works! Then, when the time comes for us to either go to Heaven or Hell--we can just grab the finished cookies and muffins out of the fridge, and present them to our Lord.

Pray The Rosary!

2011-10-07T09:23:00.003-06:00

Today is the feast of Our Lady Of The Rosary. Christian history lesson--going back to 1571--when the Christian army fought against the Turks in the Battle of Lepanto, the enemy outnumbered the Christians three to one. So what do you do when you don't know what to do!? PRAY! The soldiers on the battlefield prayed the Rosary for three hours--and won the battle!!! Pope Pius V named this day the "Feast of Our Lady of Victories". Pope Gregory XIII changed the day to "The Feast of the Holy Rosary", and then Pope Paul VI changed the name to "Our Lady of the Rosary," which it remains today.

No matter what the feast day is called, this day invites all Christians to PRAY THE ROSARY!!! And that is a call for "all" Christians--the Christian faith did not start in the 1800"s, or when most Protestant religions originated in the 15th to 20th century--Catholic Christians have had a long history--since Jesus walked on the earth--and Christians throughout history--have always asked for the intercession of our dear Blessed Mother! One of our Christian Saints, Father Padre Pio of Pietrelcina said, "Love the Madonna and pray the rosary, for her rosary is the weapon against the evils of the world today."

Saint Francis and Corgi

2011-10-04T20:09:00.001-06:00

Wearing The Cross

2011-10-04T15:24:00.000-06:00

In Contempt

2011-10-04T13:31:00.010-06:00

To thee I lift up my eyes.
O thou who art enthroned in the heavens!
Behold, as the eyes of servants
look to the hand of their master,
as the eyes of a maid
to the hand of her mistress,
so our eyes look to the Lord Our God,
till he have mercy upon us.
Have mercy upon us, O Lord, have mercy upon us,
for we have had more than enough of contempt.
Too long our soul has been sated
with the scorn of those who are at ease,
the contempt of the proud.

Contempt is an intensely negative emotion regarding a person or group of people as inferior, base, or worthless—it is similar to scorn. It is also used when people are being sarcastic. ---Wikipedia

My two dogs were running after each other--playing, on the grass, jumping on each other and just running for the pure joy of running on a beautiful Fall morning. "Your dogs are too low to the ground, my dogs could easily run circles around your dogs." Said by the guy standing next to me with great disdain. "What?!"

There is probably not a person alive who has not heard the contempt of another. Some of us more than others. Contempt is a response to a perceived failure to meet an interpersonal standard. The contemptuous compares the “bad qualities” of someone “as they really are” while simultaneously making a comparison between this person and themselves.

Of course the previous examples of my dogs was an example of a very small contempt for me and my dogs, but right now today, in Iran, there is a Christian man, who is being held captive by the government because he refuses to renounce his Christian faith and revert to being a Muslim. This morning I offered up my Communion for him and his family--he is my brother in Christ!!! He is most likely being treated very poorly by his captors, and will be given the death penalty soon, unless he give into their demands--revert! The Muslims hold him in great contempt!!! By their standards of comparisons between them and him--he deserves to die.

The Mormons and Muslims are going to hold me, more personally in contempt, as I just recently purchased a crucifix to wear around my neck. A crucifix is the universal symbol of Christianity--despised by both these religions. Why would I subject myself to more contempt than I already receive? For one reason, support--he is my brother in Iran--who will most likely die soon, he will accept the abuse, and let his own wife and children--and the rest of his extended family grieve over the loss of him--rather than renounce our Lord!!! He will become a martyr for our faith. He will stand tall--pronouncing his faith to the WORLD!!!

I wear it for him, and for all the other Christian martyrs in our world, who have given their lives, who have stood up for the truth, and have NOT given into peer pressure to remain in a religion led by a false prophet, or be killed, or ostracised by your family, for merely being a Christian! For second reason, I wear it to proclaim--"I am Christian! Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour!" Will this bring me contempt living in an immersion of Mormons?, yes, oh sigh! But our Lord was held in the greatest contempt from the pride of others--beaten, spit on, slapped, mocked, and crucified--held in contempt for love of me!

Every day, I am held in contempt, for "my" weight, "my" age, "my" imperfections. Just recently I started to wear a chapel veil in church. My "friend" laughed at me, mocked me, for how silly I appeared to her. Held in contempt by those who just don't like them. And by those who wear them--"how horrible you did not place your chapel veil on "before" entering the chapel." The insane contempt's of our world!!! Man judging man--holding their brothers in contempt for the smallest infractions of "their standards!" Crucify that Tara!!!

"Have mercy upon us, O Lord, have mercy upon us,
for we have had more than enough of contempt."

No matter what we do or say, we will be held in contempt by the proud who think they are better than all their fellow men--judging, criticising, hurting others who are not "just like them." So let no man judge me, but the Lord--let me always conform myself to His eyes of great mercy.

If it had not been the Lord who was on our side,
let Israel now say--
if it had not been the Lord who was on our side,
when men rose up against us,
then they would have swallowed us up alive,
when their anger was kindled against us;
then the flood would have swept us away,
the torrent would have gone over us;
then over us would have gone the raging waters.

Blessed be the Lord,
who has not given us
as prey to their teeth!
We have escaped as a bird
from the snare of the fowler's;
the snare is broken,
and we have escaped!
Our help is in the name of the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.

Psalm 123 and 124

Hidden Me Totally

2011-10-01T20:58:00.002-06:00

St. Thérèse: “Descending the steps leading into the garden, she saw a little white hen under a tree, protecting her little chicks under her wings; some were peeping out from under. Thérèse stopped, looking at them thoughtfully; after awhile, I made a
sign that we should go inside. I noticed her eyes were filled with tears, and I said: “You’re crying!” She put her hand over her eyes and cried even more.
“I can’t explain it just now; I’m too deeply touched.”
That evening, in her cell, she told me the following, and there was a heavenly expression on her face: “I cried when I thought of how God used this image in order to teach us his tenderness toward us. All through my life, this is what he has done for me! He has hidden me totally under his wings! Earlier in the day, when I was leaving you, I was crying when going upstairs; I was unable to control myself any longer, and I hastened to our cell. My heart was overflowing with love and gratitude.”

God Is Reality

2011-09-27T20:55:00.004-06:00

This image was made from the shroud of Turin--A linen cloth that was miraculously imprinted with the image of Jesus at His Resurrection. Why did Jesus leave us a picture of Himself??? True God and True Man, True Spiritual, and True Physical. God is Reality!

Without Mercy

2011-09-21T10:08:00.010-06:00

"Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do.
Go and learn the meaning of the words,
I desire mercy, not sacrifice.
I did not come to call the righteous but sinners."
In today's Gospel reading, Jesus quotes Hosea 6:6 Which says: "Your piety is like a morning cloud, like the dew that early passes away. For this reason I smote them through the prophets, I slew them by the words of my mouth; for it is love that I desire, not sacrifice, and knowledge of God rather than holocausts."

At Sunday Mass, Father said that all of us who day after day come to church, who do the "right thing" will in the end get the same salvation as those after a lifetime of sinning, "if" they ask for forgiveness--"mercy," before they die. Well, our Lord is not saying that we should not do works of sacrifice, for by our good "works" we show our love to God--but what He is saying is that our works of sacrifice need to come from the heart--we do them for love of God. A lifetime of sinning, has painful consequences with our own self-imposed crosses that are sometimes hard to bear--and we never know when we will die--will we have the opportunity to beg our Lord's forgiveness? Not something that I want to take a chance on--I want to be in God's fold now--His holy Catholic Church--that can help lead me to holiness.

Being in His fold, I asked my Spiritual Director, my father, to give me my Carmelite name, he did, Mary Grace of the Divine Mercy. Inspired of God--I do believe, for I am a "grudge" holder--"you screwed me over" no love for you! "I'm not going to let you hurt me again, nor am I ever going to forget your evilness!" "No Mercy for you!" I'm very capable of hanging on to some of the very slightest "perceived" insults, and seeing great imperfection in others.

One of my friends recently confided in me an "anger" she had with her husband. A grudge if you will, for something that he had done earlier in their marriage, which hurt her deeply, and she could not overcome the hurt. She was angry at him still, and would not let go of the anger. "He was an idiot back then, you need to forgive him." I told her. HA! Easy for me to say--being the grudge holder that I am. She said that she thought she had forgiven him--but with so much anger towards him for his inability to meet her needs--when she truly needed him--he let her down. Fulton Sheen says that in our lives, when we need other's the most they will act much like Jesus's friends--the Apostles did, either they will betray us like Judas, or will run, abandon us to our own devices like the rest of the Apostles.

Well, we are all humans, and we all have our failings. If we cannot forgive others their failings, how do we expect other's to forgive us our imperfections? In the Lord's prayer every day we say: "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive others." Look at our Lord on His Cross--not one spot on His entire body was not in pain--and He said, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do." Look at Maria Gorretti who after a rape attempt, was stabbed by her attacker--she lay on her death bed, praying for her attacker--she said she desired for him to be in Heaven with her! Now that's mercy!

The true name of Satan is "Without Mercy," says Fulton Sheen, in his most excellent book, "The World's First Love." Satan is one whose nature cannot ask for pardon. He first tries to convince a soul that evil is not evil; then, when evil is done, he tries to convince it that there is no hope. Thus does presumption beget despair. Satan refuses the humiliation of pardon both for himself and for others.

But there is still hope--no matter what "Without Mercy" tells us. As long as we have breath in our lungs--till the day we die--no sin or stupidity that we commit is unforgivable. Nor is their any "justifiable" cause to hold on to the hurts that others have done to us. Jesus tells us to learn the meaning of the words: I desire mercy, not sacrifice. Our Lord did not come to earth to call the "self" righteous--but sinners.

Another name for our Lord is "Divine Mercy." Another name for our Blessed Mother is, "Queen of Mercy." Another name for Satan is, "Without Mercy." What is another name for you? Mine, this loved sinner of our Lord--my other name is, Mary Grace of the Divine Mercy, I will no longer refuse pardon for myself or others! For that is the meaning of the words. The alternative--going to Hell, a place with no mercy.

There is no love in Hell.
There is no mercy in Hell.

Roses and Prayers

2011-09-20T10:48:00.010-06:00

Prayer to Our Lady at Fatima
Oh Blessed Virgin Mary, Queen of the most holy Rosary, who at Fatima revealed through humble shepherd children, the surpassing tenderness of your merciful heart. To you I offer my soul with it's sorrows and joys, and ask that you would offer to your Divine Son so that He will have mercy on me and grant me the favor that I ask. Amen

From "The World's First Love" by Fulton Sheen:

No human who has ever sent roses to a friend in token of affection or ever received them with gladness will be alien to the story of prayer And a deep instinct in humanity makes it associate roses with joy. Pagan peoples crowned their statues with roses as symbols of their own hearts. The faithful of the early Church substituted prayers for roses. In the days of the early martyrs---"early" because the Church has more martyrs today than it had in the first four centuries--as the young virgins marched over the sands of the Colosseum into the jaws of death, they clothed themselves in festive robes and wore on their heads a crown of roses, bedecked, fittingly, to meet the King of Kings in whose name they would die. The faithful, at night, would gather up these crowns of roses and say their prayers on them--one prayer for each rose. Far away in the desert of Egypt the anchorites and hermits were also counting their prayers, but in the form of little grains or pebbles strung together into a crown--a practice that Mohammad took for his Muslims. From this custom of offering spiritual bouquets arose a series of prayers known as the Rosary, for Rosary means "crown of roses."

In the apparition of Our Lady of Fatima to the children, she stressed to each person the need for prayer and the great value of prayer. St. Alphonsus tells us that "he who prays will be saved; he who does not pray will be damned." Our Lady instructed the children to recite at least five decades of the Rosary daily,

Gardened Seeds

2011-09-16T14:44:00.003-06:00

It’s Fall. All the fruits of the Summer will be releasing their fruit to the ground--it’s harvest time. Some will gather the fruit and eat it right away, while others will gather the seeds to plant again in the Spring. Some seed will drop and fall on the ground, and die from the harsh elements of Winter, while other seed will find a crack in the earth and stay safe until they can feel the moisture and sun of the Spring.

In every seed there is a potential. And like everything else on this earth, a seed will undergo transformation--what we see as a seed one day will change into a sprout, a plant, a tree, what is in the seed has the potential to grow according to the genetic makeup of that seed.

As sure as the Summer has transformed into the Fall, In my own self, I have felt a change. I am not the same person that I was only a month ago. Like the changing seasons, my growth is directed by my genetic makeup. But, like a seed that has fallen on good soil, protected by the winds and animals--that grows into a strong tree--verses the same seed that has fallen on harsh soil, or eaten by a bird, my changes internally--my programmed changes--are partially formed by my external environment. If the sun is blocked--I will grow into a weak little pale colored plant, if the sun is too harsh--I will wither and die.

But as humans we have the ability to change our environment--to allow our seeds the maximum growth potential. Every seed will grow according to it’s genetic makeup. But we can move our seeds into a more supportive environment. Moreover, unlike the plant or the animal that has to go on just genetics or instincts, God has made us like Himself, with the ability to reason--to direct our changes.

There is a book out, Eat, Pray, Love. I watched the show last night--a “chick flick.” The girl in the show, was dissatisfied with her life in New York. One day she met a man from Bali, who’s “wisdom” changed her life. She gave herself over to him as her guide. He told her to come to Bali--and she did. In Bali he remained her guide.

In the show, she was searching for “something.” HA! I know the feeling well, one guy in the show asked her just exactly what she was looking for, “peace.” she said. In the show, even though the girl had changed her environment, she kept falling into the same patterns of relating to others, based on the “seeds” already growing inside of her. Her “soul” seeds. The seeds that had grown, and had developed into patterns and fears. When she met her new husband in Bali, everything was going well, but she couldn’t commit to the relationship immediately, because of her past seeds of fear that were living inside of her. She went to her Bali “guide” and he told her to embrace her new love--she did.

While my husband Jim was walking our dogs, he met one of our neighbors who had adopted an abused dog. The dog was somewhat fearful of my husband--based on the seeds that had been planted in her by her abuser. The dog’s owner said she had worked long and hard to get her to trust again. But the dog was still somewhat fearful.

Some of my past seeds still haunt my soul, like the fearful girl in Bali, or the abused dog--some of the seeds inside my soul are still a bit wild and tangled. My first instinct is to “rip them out.” In fact, I’ve been on a de-junking phase, physically, perhaps an outward sign that represents an inward sign of wanting to rid myself of the giant weeds that are overshadowing the beautiful plants that I want to grow.

But, the seeds that are inside of me, are a part of me, and they have grown into plants that are inside of me, and to rip them out, would mean to uproot other plants that well, some I sorta like and need. My internal garden needs a bit of gardening.

Like the girl in Bali who was searching for peace--we all search for that peace. In the show, she did not say if she had found that peace or not, but the show ended in the traditional “happy ending” by getting married!? LOL! Happy endings are good, like the abused dog who now had some loving owners, who taught her to trust again. But I don’t think that’s all.

So, here I am, a middle aged women, in the Fall of my life, “ripe” with the fruits of the season. I have found that “peace” that we are all looking for, and my heart is sometimes filled with so much joy--like a beautiful rose bush that has sprung up in the middle of my garden--bursting with flowers!
And that joy and peace comes from within, not from external sources, like being married, having kids or dogs--these “lovelies” just enhance my delight.

In the story of the girl from Bali, and the dog--both had found themselves new people in their lives who acted as guides. The girl, trusted an older “exotic” man from Bali, and the dog learned to trust it’s new master guide.
And in their example is the answer, a guide! An expert gardener! To come in and help you clear out the dead wood!

Like the timid dog my husband met, still today--some of the weeds, in my garden persist and try to block out the light of the sun! Seeds will always be thrown into our garden, by others. Some undesirable seeds will sprout and grow--a seed will grow according to it’s genetic makeup. But I think the secret of the garden is, is not in pulling out the giant weeds and uprooting good plants with them--but in blocking their light so they cannot grow, and suck nutrients--from the rest of the plants in the garden. Don’t feed the weeds!!! Then they will die naturally in the ground, and decay, and then can be used as fertilizer to nourish new growth.

My “spiritual guide,” my “expert gardener,” is my priest--every day I go to Mass, and he tells me how to live according to God‘s Will--in Confession he comes into my secret garden and directs my growth. As my friend, he gives me advice in my daily walk. My “spiritual guide,” my “expert gardener,“ is also my Carmelite group--in who’s saints I study, for they have left their wisdom--for me to read, with my fellow Carmelites. The “nutrients” they provide are delicious to my “flowers.” My “spiritual guide,” my “expert Gardener,” most of all is my Lord Jesus, He has given me His Holy Catholic Church: The Bible, The Magisterium, The Tradition, His Saints, and Angels! More spiritual guides--more expert gardeners!

And the bottom line, what have all my “guides,” my “gardeners,” directed me towards? What is the true “secret” to obtaining peace in your heart--what is everyone searching for? HA! It’s just so simple. Do the Will of the Lord in everything! No one will EVER be happy, until they do God’s Will. If your not happy--if you have not yet found that peace--you are not doing His Will. He may have “directed” you a thousand times to do His Will--but you were not listening--instead you amused yourself with created things--to try and fill that void, people, places, food, things--filled your heart with who knows what kind of seeds. So go and find your “expert gardeners!“ to direct your soul!!! To help cultivate God’s seeds in the garden of your heart. The value of such experts is immeasurable! They will help direct you to our Lord’s Will in everything! Then you can be eternally happy. Yes, you will still have sorrow, struggle, and pain--but internally--inside your heart’s garden you will experience a peace that transcends everything else--for inside your heart will live our Lord--the true Gardener, the true giver of peace in everything.

Coredemtrix

2011-09-15T09:49:00.021-06:00

I have to admit this word has always been a bit like sandpaper to my soul. Our Blessed Mother was not co-redemtrix--she did not redeem the world--but her Son, Jesus. But at Mass this morning, Father said that the word "co" rather means, not that the person did the redeeming, but that they shared in the work of redemption. "Co" would then mean we are cooperators in Grace. Our Blessed Mother most certainly co-operated with our Lord in bringing Grace.

Today, Catholics--the first Christians--honor our Blessed Mother as "Our Lady of Sorrows." For in cooperating with God's plan--she had to suffer.

At the Annunciation, Mary accepted the role of "Mother of God" she would bring Jesus into the world. Mary was a smart Jewish girl--she knew the readings of Isiah, that predicted that the Messiah would suffer and die. The first sorrow of our Blessed Mother was the "Prophecy of Simeon." This is when the first "sword" of suffering pierced our Mothers heart. When he pronounced that Jesus would be rejected by the world, and that a sword would pierce her own heart too.

Being a grandma, and the love in my heart for that innocent sweet child, It gives me a strong understanding of how painful to know that one day my innocent"son" would have to suffer such rejection and cruelty. Mothers long to protect their children.

The second sorrow of Mary, was the "The Flight into Egypt." In the middle of the night--Mary and Joseph fled--in fear of Jesus being slautered by Herod's soldiers. How much anxiety must have permeated her heart and trying to stay hidden from them.

Our Mother's third sorrow was losing Jesus! In those days, men traveled with the men, women traveled with the women, and the children could go with either one--Imagine the sorrow of asking your spouse--where's Jesus?! "I thought you had him!!!"

Once, when my first daughter was young, and I was in the Mall, weaving in and out of large circles of clothes racks. My sweetest little daughter Karen, maybe three, was bored with her mom's looking at clothes. In one second, I turned my attention from her, and she was gone--great extreme HORROR! "Karen, Karen!!!" She didn't answer back--did she run out into the Mall?, what if a child molestor grabbed her!!! Panic struck my heart. "Please help me find my little girl," I begged those around me! And within moments she was found! How much more horror, and sorrow did my Blessed Mother experience at the loss of Her Son for three days!!!

And where was Jesus?--in the temple--hangin' with the priests.

The fourth sorrow, was "The Meeting of Jesus and Mary on the Way of the Cross." From the crown of His head to the soles of His feet, there was not one spot on Jesus's precious body that was not in suffering. His Mother watched as he was struck with insults, spits, and blows. How the bruise on His shoulder must have burned with pain at each movement of the Cross against his delicate torn flesh. Then coming face to face, with His Mother--a mother's job is to keep her child safe, to protect Him from harm, oh, sigh.

The Jews nailed our Lord's sacred hands to the Cross with big blunt nails. They tore his body, and dislocated his bones pulling them to fit them to their cross. Our Lady watched, her fifth sorrow, "The Crucifixion." She stood with Him always, now, at the foot of the Cross--in good times and now in great sorrow.

Our Lord died, and as His body hung on the Cross, a solidier struck our Lord with a lance piercing His heart. Mary's sixth sorrow. Blood and water gushed out of our Lord, like a crushed grape who's juice is realeased for us to drink. Our Lord died to give us life! They removed his body from the Cross, and laid Him before His Mother.

The seventh sorrow of our Mother, is when they laid Jesus in the tomb. "A sword too, will pierce your heart."

Mary is Coredemtrix of our salvation. She cooperated with God's plan perfectly! Father Erik, in his homily this morning, said that we too are called to be like Mary--our perfect model--to cooperate with God's plan, to accept our sorrows as did our most Blessed Mother. When we too offer up our sufferings to our Lord--they can have a redeeming effect on those around us--we share in the redeeming of the world--not as gods--but as cooperators in God's plan.

Taize Per crucem

2011-09-14T20:46:00.001-06:00

My God Can Do Anything!

2011-09-14T16:55:00.011-06:00

One of my friends on facebook, put up a joke post, saying she was going to Hell in more than one religion. She's a Mormon, and when she said that, I had to think about her god compared to my God. My God died on a cross to forgive all men every last one of their sins--even murder. If I murdered the entire population of the world, and was truly sorry, my dear Lord would forgive me ALL. Of course, I would have to be TRULY sorry, or no deal--and God can read man's heart.

Her god, if she killed someone, would not be able to forgive all her sins--that sin, according to them, requires "blood atonement." In other words, they would have to "pay for the sin with ones own blood!!!" No FREE GRACE for them! What if they killed everyone in the world--I guess they would just be out of luck--how could a simple human being pay with their own blood for all those sins!?

Not possible. It would take an eternal GOD, to pay for all those sins--which is my God--He gives me FREE GRACE--He paid the price for ALL my sins, and since He's eternal, just one drop of His precious blood would pay the price of them forever--all of them. However, even though all those sins are paid for--by the blood of Jesus--I have to choose to accept His free Grace, by being Baptized. and after Baptism, Confessing those sins to God, and making a firm amendment to NEVER commit those sins again.

Saint Paul, before he converted to Christianity, he was Saul, who killed Christians--because he hated Christians--he murdered them. But God had plans for Saul, and he struck him blind--and then forgave him all his sins, and changed his name to Paul. He became a strong disciple of Jesus!!! And is now Saint Paul--which means he's in Heaven with Jesus.

My God is an awesome God--He can do ANYTHING. He could even save my friend from HELL!!! "If" she wanted to be saved! How cool is that!?

Not My Mother

2011-09-13T16:33:00.002-06:00

I look just like her, my mother. Her broad shoulders, her short blond curly hair, the same expressions on her face. My biological mother had sex one day--unwillingly with my father--and presto--the Lord knit me together, in her womb, and nine months later, I was born. If it were nowadays in the age of abortion, most likely I wouldn't have made it into the world, as, if she had had the opportunity for abortion--she would have taken the "option," which means my two daughters would not have been born, or my little grandson. But we were born, and I look in the mirror and see her face--everyday. I am my mother.

My mother was meaner than a junk-yard dog--one term you would have never used for her was "nice." She started out as a Mormon in her religion, but she was more curious about "Spiritualism" conjuring up spirits, and having them do her will--that was her father's religion before he was converted. Then from there she embraced the occult, witchcraft, astrology and the like. She still adheres to a form of all three of these religions today, sorta blended together.

She used drugs during the early years of my growing up, prescription drugs, given to her by her boyfriend doctors. She idolized money, power, and loved to hob knob with rich guys. My mother hated me--hated having to care for a child she never wanted--hated my handicap--hated being responsible for a very imperfect child.

One of my friends asked me the other day, "How in the world did a daughter of a witch become Catholic!" The way she said it took me by surprise--what?! Most of the time, when thinking of my mother, I try to suppress thoughts or memories of her. People are always telling me memories of their childhood--how much they love their mother, and all the good times they had as children--but most of my childhood is blocked out purposely, and when my friend made the previous remark, it agitated me somewhat, as I was enjoying the day, and did not even want to think of my mother. But like a heavy weight--I carry her with me always--her words, her acts, her meanness.

I hate most pictures of myself, and have purposely destroyed them over the years--very few remain--when I look at them, I do not see myself--but her face staring back judging and cruel. Perhaps that is why my favorite story is "the Picture of Dorian Grey." How I wish sometimes I could take the knife to the picture and destroy the image I see, how instead of seeing the picture of her--it was me instead.

But, I am not my mother--I am myself. My genetic make-up is the same as my biological mother--but my spiritual soul--has been baptized into Grace--has been adopted by a new Mother--my Blessed Mother in Heaven. Hers is the picture that I want to see. So while my earthly genetics were determined for me--Lord, will this be the same face that will look back at me for ALL eternity!??? my spiritual existence however can be molded and shaped into the woman that I want to see, my true Mother in Heaven. When, I see the picture--let it be her face that looks back at me.

The Warm Wind

2011-09-08T16:13:00.002-06:00

In the gentle warm breeze--on this one of the end of Summer's warm days, wind chimes tinkled in the silence. Wind chimes at a graveyard--who would have thought? I've always had a fondness for wind chimes--the sound was soothing. The trees rustled their leaves and I had to lean in to hear my dear Father praying over the remains of my friend. I thought about him, my friend, and my heart was filled with joy--not sadness--he was 90 years old and ready to meet the Lord.

The military were there, and presented a flag to his wife. I wondered how it would feel to receive the flag at the death of your husband--but, I didn't ever want to know. Please Lord, never let me be the last one to die.

The service was over, everyone stayed for a moment, in silence. It was time to go, Being by myself, I turned and walked across the lawn alone, seeing my shadow--my hair was being tousled by the warm wind, It felt lovely to be outdoors on such a beautiful day. But then, I started to cry, I was walking away from my friend, and felt all alone. "That's how it is, isn't it Lord--we walk alone?" But, Bill was not alone--today on the feast day of the birth of our Blessed Mother--he would have her at his side--standing with him before our Lord, and a whole Communion of Angels and Saints in Heaven--to walk with him, to intercede for him--he was not alone--and neither was I.

A sort of deep peace permeated my heart as I stopped just outside of my car, waiting in the warm pleasant wind for my friends who rode over to the cemetery with me. I looked back at them--some of the people whom I loved, and thought how truly blessed to have them as friends--to have known Bill--one day I would see him again. He had just gone on ahead--of this journey that is life.

"...You make the clouds your chariot;
you travel on the wings of the wind.
You make the winds your messengers..." --Psalm 104:3

I Learned It From A Man

2011-09-06T00:20:00.007-06:00

Woman may be likened to the flower, which is fixed between Heaven and earth; she is like the earth in her bearing of life; she is like Heaven in her aspirations to blossom upward to the Divine"--Fulton Sheen

I Am Woman! So just what the heck does that mean--to be a woman? God created me as such--and for ALL eternity, I will remain a woman. From the beginning of creation--I was in God's mind--to be born in space and time--He had an image of the perfect woman creature that I was to be.

Born into a physical world--I struggled to identify--what exactly does it mean to be feminine? I tried to be a "girl" when I was younger--of course we all know what the "worldly" view of being a woman is--the Barbie doll, shopping, clothes, makeup--looking "pretty" according to the culture I lived. This, BTW, is a most detestable image in my heart and soul. My mother-in-law, when I got married gave me the book, "Fascinating Womanhood." Oh, it was so horrible, basically a book to tell women how to manipulate men for their purposes--with their "femininity." One time, I blogged about the book, and was met with woman defending the book, as "a good thing." IMHO those women had "bought the lie."

But while one end of the world was telling me to be "ultra feminine"--which I found full of lies and deceit--we are not "dolls" for the amusement of men, but the Women's liberation movement was going big and strong--they HATED men!!! No wonder--their mom's probably all gave them the book, "Fascinating Womanhood" and they were so disguised with the concept--the pendulum swung so far to the opposite side--in repulsion of the book. But--I couldn't be one of the "Women's liber's" either, as I had some men friends, and pretty much thought they were pretty nice to have around.

One of my all time favorite courses in college was a course on "Women studies." I have been struggling with this question my entire life!!! In the course, we read about women in different cultures--in different eras. I read the true struggles they had with their cultures and oppression--like Maxine Hong Kingston in "No Name Women." Drawn into their lives--how glad that we did have a few "women liber's" to take us out of such "dark ages." That one Women Studies course--was possibly the most contemplative study I have ever encountered--I still have the course book, and will dabble in the stories of other women from time to time. I love their poetry--so real, so full of emotion, so woman!

Strong confusion permeates my brain. Just recently, my church had a "women's tea" and everything in my psyche screamed--repulsion. What is wrong with me??? Why can I not embrace my true femininity???

But WHAT exactly Lord, is true femininity??? So, when you don't know what to do, what do you do??? Pray--So I have been praying, and I got online, and found a few examples of strong women that I would want to emulate--Catholic women--who I thought might have an idea of "true femininity." I bought their books--which I have yet to read :)

But the other day, one of my friends, Diane K, gave me a book--she was "inspired" to give it to me--the book is: "The World's First Love" by Fulton Sheen. Well, people are not inclined to give me a book just "everyday" so being Labor Day weekend, and being home--I plowed through the book--well I'm not finished yet. And there--in the book, IS MY ANSWER--the answer that I have been searching for a life-time!!! And I learned it from a man!!! (Well, the book was given to me by a woman :) The man, Fulton Sheen, who I believe one day will be declared a saint by Holy Mother Church.

Fulton Sheen, did not have a struggle to find out what it meant to be a woman--he's a guy--a guy who listens to and talked with God! The book, "The World's First Love" is about our Blessed Mother--what better example do we as women have than to emulate HER! Oh, Mother! Our true picture of "true femininity." Anyway, here's what this "man" Fulton Sheen says:

...Woman may be likened to the flower, which is fixed between Heaven and earth; she is like the earth in her bearing of life; she is like Heaven in her aspirations to blossom upward to the Divine. The mark of man is initiative, but the mark of woman is cooperation. Man talks about freedom; women about sympathy, love, sacrifice. Man cooperates with nature; women cooperates with God. Man was called to till the earth, to "rule over the earth"; woman to be the bearer of a life that comes from God. The hidden wish of every woman in history, the secret desire of every feminine heart, is fulfilled in the instant when Mary says; "Fiat"--"Be it done unto me according to thy word."

Here is cooperation at its best. Here is the essence of womanhood--acceptance, resignation, submission: "Be it done unto me." Whether it be the unmarried daughter who cares for the mother with her Fiat of surrender to service, or the wife who accepts the husband in the unity of the flesh, or the saint who accepts little crosses proffered by her Savior, or this unique Woman whose soul submits to the Divine Mystery of mothering God made man--there is present in varying degrees the beautiful picture of woman in her sublimest vocation--making the Total Gift, accepting a Divine assignment, being submissive for Heaven's holy purposes...

At my parish, just recently we had a visiting Carmelite sister--it was so good to see a "real" nun in Utah!!! She is the daughter of one of our parishioners, so at after morning coffee--she would come hang out with us--what a treat just to be near her. She emulated "true femininity" to me--making the Total gift, accepting her Divine assignment--being submissive for Heavenly purposes.

One morning we were talking of dressing nicely to go to Mass--Father Erik reminded me that I had quit wearing the Mantilla. Yes, I had, but, but, but, people looked at me, and noticed me--"oh," said Father--"should Sister then remove her veil and habit and wear a polyester suit, just so people won't look at her!" Oh, Father has a way of knowing exactly what to say to me!

Well, timing, there are no coincidences with God. This morning--I wore the Mantilla to Mass--and LOVED wearing it! It made me feel uber truly feminine!!! No, not just the lace--the "girly" stuff, but what it represented to me--submission to God--hiding under the veil--hiding safely under His protective wings. The picture of me, that God had in His mind in the beginning of time--is not the picture of the woman that I have become today, well, during my life, I have not entirely embraced my Lord's view for me. But, today, hiding under the veil, I am reminded, that it is NOT "I" who can make me holy--BUT through perfect submission to His will, it is HE who can make me holy.

I hope my friend Diane reads this blog post--because she truly gave me a gift--a man's view on true femininity--LOL!

My Only Husband

2011-08-26T18:20:00.006-06:00

The other Sunday, I went to church, and there is this guy who is in my estimation--attractive. Jim says he looks like a “used car salesman.” Well, he dresses nicely, his hair is always well cut, and he’s at church--so he looks good. Well, the reason Jim does not like him, is that the guy, not knowing I was married--was attracted to me. Imagine that, LOL, someone being attracted to this old lady. I am Catholic, no doubt he being single is looking for a good Catholic wife, since his annulment to his first wife--nothing wrong with that. Once he found out that I was married--he backed away immediately--and was just friendly. He is not called by God to be outside of marriage--he wants a new wife!

Jim and I have been married for thirty-five years. We both agree that we do not want to get re-married if one of us dies. But a couple of Sunday’s ago, the same guy comes up to me and gives me a hug--so I politely hugged back (I don’t particularly like being hugged by others). But then he didn’t let go, and just held me as we talked--Jim was starting to look a little bit uncomfortable--”Tara, do I need to break this up?” sorta look. I was starting to be a bit uncomfortable too, and wondered what were his motives? After too long, I stepped backwards out of his embrace and said, “Ugh, Jim and I are going to go over and get donuts--bye.” I ate TWO donuts--because it flustered me so much.

Thinking about the practical level of being without a spouse--having to deal with guys like this, oh the horror of it all, I thought how blessed to have a husband that I dearly loved! Jim fixes things that break in the house, does the yard work, takes me out for dinner--it’s kinda nice being taken care of--how could one even think of living without a spouse--shudder! So I totally understand the guys desire for a new wife.

Well, neither Jim or I are ready to die, but when one of our parish members recently just died at the age of 45, it made me think of the future possibility that I might one day be a widow, or Jim be a widower. Unfortunately, living sustained by a husband, it lends to having a sort of dependence on Jim--it’s comfortable--it’s lovely. God did not call me to a vocation of being a religious--He knew how weak and how much care I needed! So God gave me my vocation--to assist my husband on attaining Heaven.

This guy was good-looking and sorta nice, and I admit, that I was flattered by his attention--but no, there is no way that I would EVER want to be married again. Jim is my ONLY husband. What I would want if I were alone would be to live in chaste widowhood--with a vow, to belong only to my first and only husband Jim--in the vocation of marriage that God choose for me, and then to belong only to God. Saint Paul says that if you are single--stay that way--“More blessed shall she be,”…”if she so remain.”

I've been reading the book "Introduction to the Devout Life" by Frances de Sales and after reading what he says, I want so much to take a "vow" of widowed chastity--in other words--to never get married in this life again--but rather like a priest who takes a life-long vow to devout himself entirely to God, or like a married Deacon who vows to never take another wife, after his wife dies--so as to devote ourselves more strongly to God!

Of course I’ll have to talk with my Spiritual Director before taking such a vow--because, if God calls us to be married--we have no option--we follow God’s call. There is nothing to lose, in not making the vow, leave the options open--just in case I change my mind. But never have I been so sure about anything! It’s a calling to a deeper relationship to Jim, for him to be my only husband--a deeper calling to our Lord--to vow to keep myself away from the worldly passions and all the cares and concerns of trying to please another human in marriage, and give myself entirely to our Lord.

This is what Saint Frances de Sales says:

St. Augustine strongly recommends a vow of widowed chastity, and Origen counsels married women to vow and dedicate themselves to widowed chastity, in case their husbands should die before them; so that amidst the sensual pleasures of their marriage they may still enjoy the merit of chaste widowhood by means of this anticipated promise. Such a vow renders the deeds which follow it more acceptable to God, strengthens our courage to perform them, and not only gives to God those works which are the fruit of our good will, but also dedicates to Him the will itself, which is the tree of our good actions. By simple chastity we lend our body to God, still retaining the liberty submit it to sensual pleasures; but by the vow of chastity we give it Him as an absolute irrevocable gift, without reserving any power to recall it, thus happily rendering ourselves His slave, whose service is better than all royalty. And as I greatly approve the counsel of those two great men, so would I have those souls who are so happy as to wish to follow it, to do so prudently, wholly, and entirely, after due examination of their own strength, and invocation of divine guidance, and under the counsel of some wise and pious director; and then it will be fruitfully done.

GOD ALONE SUFFICES

2011-08-16T20:16:00.000-06:00

False Devotes

2011-08-16T15:51:00.003-06:00

“Watch the bees, how they suck from thyme a bitter juice, but as they suck it is converted to honey, for such is their property. Tell the worldly man, in truth the devout find many hardships in their works of mortification, but in the performance they become easy and welcome; even as the stake, the fire, the sword, and the wheel, were as perfumed flowers to the martyrs of old, because they were devout, and if devotion can soften torture and death itself, can it not lighten the daily path of duty?” ---St. Francis de Sales

“By their fruits you shall know them.” I know someone who is going through a difficult period of their life, who has become--well, kinda a mess! When I first met this person, they seemed so pious, prayed all the time, went to daily Mass, and practiced various devotions--but even then it made me wonder if the person was genuine? It seemed more like a “show,” like going through the motions--their “religion” was exactly that, “their” religion--it had nothing to do with God--their acts were done as if one could “earn” true devotion.

Bring on the fire--for in true devotion--in the fire--the impurities are removed, and what is left over becomes a REAL true devotion. But in the fire, this person has become embittered towards God-- claiming, they “deserve” His love, His Grace--look at all the devotions and prayers they have prayed over the years!!! They are like a “statue” looking all pious on the outside, but on the inside no true depth of devotion. This person is envious of others, jealous of many, and cannot come to terms at how they should proceed, and are mad at God, because they are not getting what they want.

In the truly devoted--like the honey bee--in the “fire” they “suck up” the bitter hardships around them and produce the most sweetest delicious honey--and they don’t even think it’s such a hardship!!!

The problem with the person I know--is they can’t seem to see what is wrong--HA! Sometimes I see women with weird hair--not flattering to their faces but in the cut of the current fashion, dressed in shirts that are the “in style” worn two sizes too small as if they buy that size they will instantly become that size--with rolls of bare skin exposed, because they have to wear the “style.“ They know somethings not right--but can't seem to figure out what's wrong. They have bought into the lies of the media of what they “should” wear to be “cool,” and loved, but instead they look ridiculous, and I sorta feel sorry for them--because all they want is to be loved.

They are following the “prescribed” fake messages given to them by others--by the world, and not by God. Until they stop trying to manipulate others around them with false schemata’s of how things are “supposed” to be--according to them--they will remain trying to place a round peg into a square hole--it just doesn’t work.

“It is needful that, first of all, you should ascertain wherein lies the virtue of devotion, for there are many counterfeits, but only one true devotion; and, therefore, if you do not find that which is real, you will but deceive yourself, and vainly pursue an idle superstitious form.” (St. Frances)

The REAL, true devotion to our Lord is spiritual--if one remains on the earth groveling in the dirt pursing earthly things--they will never attain true devotion to our Lord. My mother-in-law, God give rest to her soul--would say if she just acted all “feminine” men would fall all over her, and take care of her needs--eeeek, what a manipulation of others for “her” agenda!!! And doing “chores” or “good works” of devotion to manipulate God or others into giving you what you want, will keep you on the ground.

Okay, it’s not always easy to give up good earthly things. But to trade the things of the divine--eternal, for things of this earth--mortal, just seems like such a "no-brainer." Well, from what I learned in Carmelites this past week, from St. Ignatius’s spiritual exercises, we all want divine love--the love that enlightens the soul--pure Grace! And the way to attain that Grace in everything we do is ask ourselves--is this for the glory of God, or for the Salvation of our soul??? Then we can become True Devotes of our Lord.

Wow, have I ever said how much GRACE has come to me from the Carmelites!!! When you “listen” to God’s call, and follow what He wants you to do--it just makes you all happy and peaceful inside. Okay, I admit, I’m a dork!!! LOL!

Valaam Monastery - Beatitudes

2011-08-11T21:38:00.000-06:00

Saint Clare

2011-08-11T21:20:00.002-06:00

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. St. Clare, one of my favorite saints, epitomized this beatitude--she was both poor in material wealth, and was example to poverty of spirit! If we don't have poverty of spirit--we will not enter the kingdom of Heaven!!!

From Father John A. Hardon, S.J.:
This is our dilemma. We are living in the most affluent society of human history. We have access to so much of this world's comforts and pleasures and ease and leisure and food and entertainment, that the very word "poverty" has become a label for backwardness. And our way of life is called progress. Yet all the while we are haunted by the example and teachings of Christ who "being rich became poor for our sake" (II Corinthians 8:9). We are warned by the unanswerable question, "Has not God chosen the poor in this world, rich in faith and heirs of the Kingdom which God has promised to those who love Him" (James 2:25).

There is no option. Either we practice poverty or we shall not only not be sanctified; we shall not even be saved. It was not a pious platitude but a sober truth when Jesus said how hard it is for the rich person to enter heaven.

How to Practice Poverty Today
Certainly, the Gospels were meant to be lived not only in first century Palestine, but in twentieth century North America. The crucial question is how. The following are some directives. While referring directly to poverty, their underlying principles apply equally to the practice of Christian chastity and charity. Along with poverty, they form the triad of virtues that are mainly on trial in the affluent, sexual and self-preoccupied societies of our times.

We must be convinced on faith that the First Beatitude of Christ's Sermon on the Mount is a divinely revealed truth. Only the poor in spirit will inherit the Kingdom of heaven. We shall be only as zealous about practicing poverty as we are convinced that our salvation depends on our being, and not merely professing to be, poor in spirit.

It is not quite true to say that an abundance of worldly possessions is no hindrance to salvation. It is.

We must pray to understand how we, in our state of life, with our possessions of money, property, living facilities, food, clothing, means of travel and entertainment are nevertheless to remain poor in spirit.

We must be sincere with God in telling Him that we are interiorly detached from the material things we possess or have access to. Self-deception is easy when I have all that I want of earthly satisfactions and then verbally tell God that my heart is not addicted to what I enjoy.

We should examine our conscience daily on this internal detachment from what may externally surround us like the air that we breathe. Poverty of spirit is not a figure of speech. It is a living reality. If I am truly practicing the First Beatitude, I will experience something of what it means to be poor.

If I am practicing poverty of spirit, I will be industrious. Poor people have to work for a living. "To labor is to pray," says St. Benedict. And Thomas à Kempis asks, "Why do you want to rest, since you are born to labor."

If I am practicing poverty of spirit, I will be sensitive to the material needs of others. Poverty of spirit means charity of spirit. I want to share what I have with others; and not only of my superfluities, but even of my necessities.

A good index of how poor we are is how peaceful we are in spirit. Worry and anxiety about the things of this world are, on Christ's own testimony, signs of a lack of trust in God's providence. According to St. Alphonsus Liguori, this means detachment "not only from what is valuable, but also from what is trifling."

Internal detachment from worldly things frees the human heart for attachment to heavenly things. The more time we have in our leisure society, the more time we should give to prayer.

The world in which we live needs our witness of poverty. People who know what we believe should see our faith put into practice. It will take much light from God to live among the affluent and yet remain internally poor. We must call upon all the resources of grace to be patient and prudent and kind in our dealings with others without compromising our fidelity to Christ who became a poor Child to show us the way to heaven.

Great Catholic Books
Newsletter
Volume I, Number 3

Vanity, Thy Name Is Tara

2011-08-11T12:50:00.003-06:00

This morning, I asked one of my friends why she didn't come over and "hang" with us anymore--one of my other friends said, "because she doesn't like you anymore." "Oh, don't listen to him!" she said. But in truth, it was good that we no longer were as up close and personal friends as we once had been. God puts us in contact with those who we need in our lives--everything for our salvation!

On studying Carmelite Spirituality, we are taught, by our Carmelite Saints who have gone on home to Heaven before us, to detach ourselves from anything or anyone who keeps us from God. Unfortunately, in my friend, I saw great pride, the picture that I saw when thinking of her, was the same as the picture of Obama with his head stuck up in the air--he is his own god. She was my friend, but a strong hatred of her pride began to grow in my heart. It was quite painful. What was wrong with me!!!? She was the same person as she had been before--what changed?

Sometimes, the thing we hate in others is the very mirror that is being held up to ourselves--we hate their pride--because it is our own pride that we hate even more!!! This November, I hope to make my Carmelite promise, one part of that promise is that I live in spiritual poverty--according to the Constitutions of the Secular Order. Pride has no place in poverty. And this is where I struggle!

"You were never better off than now because you were never so humble or so submissive, or considered yourself and all worldly things to be so small; nor did you know that you were so evil or God was so good, nor did you serve God so purely and so disinterestedly as now, nor do you follow after the imperfections of your own will and interests as perhaps you were accustomed to do. What is it you desire?" ...
---Carmelite Sayings: 119; Letter #19

Yesterday, I went to visit a friend in the hospital--as she spoke--she struggled to breathe. Thinking of what I was going to do the next day (today) it was to have the imperfections on my face smoothed out--so my skin would look prettier. Then wondering how her day would be tomorrow (today) an extreme guilt welled up in my heart--yes, it would not matter to her--my procedure--but it was so frivolous compared to the struggle she was facing in getting well. At home my husband kept insisting that it was stupid to make my face look better, and another friend said so as well. But in my own desire, my own selfishness, my own imperfections--I wanted my face to look smoother!!!

And here it is, my prideful struggle--sheesh--sometimes I wonder if I'm cut out to be a Carmelite--they should just throw me out NOW!!! My worldly desires--my struggle with poverty of Spirit is not easy. But in my promises, it includes the words, "tend to evangelical perfection" which means that being perfect in the beginning, well, for me, yeah right. But I must be willing to desire and to strive for perfection, aiming for perfection, but in my own weakness knowing it's impossible without God.

So, this morning when I saw my friend, and my other friend said "she doesn't like you anymore," he looked at her, as if it were true--and all of a sudden the hostility that was inside of me toward her seemed to instantly vanish--I looked into her eyes, and saw my old friend again--her eyes were beautiful and sparkly--not one bit of my pride shined through. How lovely it would be that "she" didn't like me anymore--LOL! By that I mean--it was okay to "let go" to detach from the relationship with her, because the picture of my life is not painted by me, but by the mighty hand of God!

This morning, I cancelled my appointment to have my face all smoothed out, and beautified--instead, I went to Mass and offered up my Communion for my friend in the hospital and her family. The value of one Mass is inestimable!!! But I still wish that I could have my face all smoothed out--oh, Vanity, thy name is Tara!

There is No Love in Hell

2011-07-29T09:15:00.005-06:00

I downloaded a Carmelite app to my iPad--LOL--what a new language we have developed in just a few short years. Turning on the app, while walking around doing a few things--immediately the voice coming from the app sounded angry--hostile. That does not sound like a Carmelite??? Walking back into the room, the woman, an ex-Carmelite nun was screeching that she was "delivered" out of the Convent. She had been "saved" by Jesus, she never knew Jesus until she left. She said, "I'll wait to have an altar call till after I'm finished." Oh, brother, I was disappointed, a protestant bashing God's church. The picture on the app was very misleading, an old fashioned picture of a Carmelite??? Lovey, and meant to draw one to listen to her own turning away from God. What I was hoping for was some beautiful Carmelite spirituality.

The ex-nun went on to exclaim over and over how she was "delivered" out of the Convent--what must have happened there? She obviously did not have a charism from God to be a Carmelite. Withdrawing from the world to be with our Lord in prayer and contemplation--studying the Carmelite saints, most delightful, but she, not having the charism must have found the Convent horrifying. "Purgatory?" she said, "There is no Purgatory, the Catholic church just made that up--we don't get second chances." Obviously, she was never well educated to Purgatory--or twisted it's meaning for "her" purposes to be more angry.

There are so many who turn away from truth--because they are unable to live up to God's commands--they want to do it "their way." But what boggles my mind, is why do they then have to bash God's church--of course I did not listen to the rest of this woman's ramblings, only about three minutes was way more than anyone could stand. Anger, bitterness, lashing out. A wolf in sheep's clothing.

Purgatory is not for second chances at all, when you die--all your chances are finished--your either going to Heaven or Hell--period. Purgatory is the place where we become purified before entering Heaven--few are perfect when they die--if we make it to Purgatory--we will go to Heaven. Nothing unclean can enter Heaven.

In Hell there is no love, only anger, hatred, bitterness--for eternity. Our Heaven or Hell begins here on Earth. This woman was full of Hell! And she was spreading her hatred around to others--are people really attracted to anger, hatred, bitterness??? After those horrifying three minutes of listening to her, quickly, I removed the app, and cleansed my senses by listening to a REAL Carmelite app--ahhh! I am attracted to LOVE, and God is LOVE, and when I die, I hope to go to Heaven, probably by way of Purgatory, because in Heaven there is no hatred, anger, or bitterness--only love--for eternity.

Celtic Woman - Amazing Grace

2011-07-22T09:33:00.003-06:00

I have a special love for the song Amazing Grace!

When my Lord found me, and brought me into Christianity, I stumbled through a few protestant churches. The Last Protestant Church I attended was a church I call "Jack's Church." I call it Jack's church because he was the pastor of a small community church where I lived. Each week he would give his "sermons" on secular theology, mixed with a few Bible verses, that he tried to cram into his secular thoughts.

Once I asked Pastor Jack, "How do we keep the Sabbath Day Holy?" As my pastor he said, "Tara, just read the Bible and decide for yourself." Decide for myself??? Does not God have a command, and does God just abandon his poor little children to themselves--who have no theological background, who do not understand Hebrew and Greek, who are to "interpret" what God says for themselves? Is that not why there are so MANY Christian denominations--everyone interpreting what God said for themselves??? The logic of that is insane!

What happened next is I stopped going to church--it would just be me and Jesus, I would determine for myself--reading the Bible and praying to God--what God had in store for me. But in only a few months, a nagging kept tugging at my soul--did it not say in the Bible that we must be joined to the Body!!! The Body of Christ! But Lord, where was that Body???

One Sunday the nagging in my heart was so strong, that I got all dressed up in Sunday clothes, and decided to go to every Christian church starting from the one closest to my house, and spreading out until God Himself TOLD ME which "body" He had in mind for me! "Please, Lord, do not leave me hanging out here in Limbo--I am a Christian--I believe in YOU--show me where you want me!"

On leaving the house, my husband stayed home and wished me luck in my endeavor--before I left the house I told Jim, "wouldn't it be great if God just gave me a sign--oh, I know that He says don't ask for signs, but I wish He would just play Amazing Grace or something when I walked into the building--then I would know it was His church."

Starting with the first church--another non-denominational "Christian Church." A small community of perhaps one hundred people or so, and when I walked in all eyes were on me--fresh meat!--I knew after the meeting they would all clamour to greet me, and want to make sure that I felt at home--OY! During the sermon, the pastor was relating everything to himself, and his struggles--I could hardly bear it. Another "Jack's church." Not wanting to be rude, and knowing everyone would watch me as I left the building--I could not get up to leave, I would just wait until it was over. But then, everyone would accost me, and if I left right now, I would probably be right on time to go to that Catholic church a few miles away.

I could not stand it any longer--I got up--all eyes were on me as I exited the building, outside--whew! A strong feeling of pure relief! I hurried over to the Catholic church.

The church had not been built yet--so I had to walk down a long hall-way through the school to the auditorium where Mass was being said. As I walked in, up on the stage was a long blond haired girl playing Amazing Grace on her guitar, I sat down, far away from others where I would be inconspicuous, and looked around. All of a sudden it hit me--she is playing Amazing GRACE!!! I almost started to cry--God!???

Then the priest stood up, and said, "oh, I'm sorry were starting late today--but I just did not want to stop that beautiful music!" If the priest would not have started late, if I would not have left the other church when I did--I would not have heard this most beautiful song on my way into the church--Amazing Grace.

The Priest stood up and when he went to read the Gospel he said, "And now for the good news!" The good news was that they read from the Bible--and the priest spoke from the "good news." It was like a breath of fresh air--Amazing Grace!

When I became Baptized, we could choose a new name--and I did so, Mary, for the blessed Virgin who had interceded so strongly for me--and Grace, for the Amazing Grace that was given to me, in coming home to the true Body of Christ.

I still love this song!

Wretched Pitable Me!

2011-07-22T09:03:00.004-06:00

I absolutely LOVE this post! I have a "friend" who has been "aggressing" me lately--she is going through a rough time, and so she is lashing out at EVERYONE around her. She tells me all my faults and failures--sometimes just bashing my personal appearance--things that well, I'm just not as young and pretty as I used to be--oh, gee imagine that!!! Well, now when she tells "bashes" me, I'll just say thank you Jesus for making me the most wretched creature! LOL!

Submitting Most Unwillingly

2011-07-21T16:33:00.004-06:00

When Simon helped Jesus carry His cross--Simon did so unwillingly. Lately, my Lord has given me a few crosses to bear--little teeny ones compared to many others--but just as Simon--I have carried them unwillingly. It does not matter though if you carry them unwillingly--they still have become your crosses--and you can carry them well, or badly.

My friend just called me, to tell me where I was in error in part of my thinking--and in saying things out loud it made me think differently--my conclusion is that I'm a spoiled brat! I want ease, comfort, and a life full of rainbows, corgi's, and sweet smelling roses. No conflict, no pain, no sorrow--just pure happiness! HA!

Okay, reality set in now. Yesterday, a man came into the hospital who tried to kill himself--he had surgery due to his self-inflicted wounds. He was a nice looking man, very pleasant and polite, and yet behind his eyes you could see his pain. How could one not wonder what he must have felt--what happened? He must not have had any rainbows, corgis, or roses! Not carrying his cross well, and complicating matters by having to come in for surgery--to top off the stressors he probably already had to deal with. My heart hoped for a world where people loved each other, rather than caused others pain and hardship because they themselves were so miserable.

Well, how to fix the world?! We all know how, by fixing ourselves, our attitudes, not taking offense at other's weirdness's, basically by focusing on our Lord and trying to become mirror images of Him. Being in the Carmelites, and studying Carmelite Saints--today, I have come across a beautiful meditation by Blessed Francoise d'Amboise, it is so beautiful, says so much of what "I" need to hear, that I'm sharing it with you, oh, how I wish I could read it to the man who tried to kill himself--and have it sink deep into his heart--he would never again attempt such a deed! Here is the meditation:

From the Exhortations of Blessed Frances to her nuns:

Whatever the troubles and difficulties that weigh you down, bear them all patiently and keep in mind that these are the things which constitute your Cross. Offer your help to the Lord and carry the cross with Him in gladness of heart. There is always something to be endured, and if you refuse one cross, be sure that you will meet with another, and maybe a heavier one. If we trust in God and rely on His help, we shall overcome the allurements of vice. we must never let our efforts flag nor our steps grow weary, but must keep our hearts under steady discipline. Consider the afflictions and great trials which the holy Fathers endured in the desert. And yet the interior trials they suffered were far more intense than the physical penances they inflicted on their own bodies. One who is never tried acquires little virtue. accept then whatever God wills to send, for any suffering He permits is entirely for our good. Christ assures us in the Gospel, "Who wishes to follow me must deny himself. He must be forgetful of self; he must regard himself as nothing; he must despise himself and desire to be despised by others." The attitude derives from Our Lord's command that we are to take up his cross and follow Him. We are to accept sufferings of mind and body for love of Him, just as He bore His sufferings for Love of us. It is true that the Jews lifted the cross from our Savour's shoulders, but this was out of concern lest He die from blows and exhaustion before reaching the place where He was to be crucified. And when they laid the weight on Simon's shoulders, he submitted most unwillingly, even though aware that he was not destined to die on the cross he carried. Christ, by contrast, willingly and gladly carried His cross and died upon it, breathing forth His soul at last into His Father's hands. Let us follow Him and imitate all He did, You have various afflictions which constitute your cross. Bear them willingly to the very end, when you will finally yield your soul to God. Give Him praise and thanks for calling you to His service. Scorn no-one for it is God's will that you love each one of your neighbors as you do those of your own community. Strive to curb all unruly instincts within you. To this end try one remedy today and another tomorrow, so that gradually you will subdue your unruly impulses and when the Lord sees your good will and your perseverance, He will give you the support of His grace, enabling you to sustain to the end the burdens of religious life. "Through His love nothing will be too difficult for you to bear."

Our Lady of Perpetual Help

2011-07-18T13:25:00.001-06:00

My New Name

2011-07-11T11:05:00.006-06:00

In November, my hope is to take my first Secular Order Carmelite vows. But I have been struggling with deciding my Carmelite name. Every day, we have to recite the promise: I________ promise... The new name one has in an order denotes the charism the Secular will follow through life--oh! The name is usually your baptized name, or the name of a saint, and then a mystery.

Well, my imagination came up with thousands of names to choose from. I kept changing the name over and over again. The director of Formation said instead of me continuing to change my name so many times--she would just wait until November, when hopefully, I would have a definitive name. I kept praying for God to give me my name! But my list was getting larger and larger. So in anxiety and frustration, I asked my dear "Father" Father Erik, since he was my Father, would he please name his little daughter? Father Padre Pio, often gave his "children" their names in spiritual life. Father Erik did, he gave me the most delightful name ever!!! Mary Grace of The Divine Mercy :) So, since it was a "gift" from my "Father" there is no way that the name will change again.

The charism of my name being that of Divine Mercy is perfect for me! Jesus' Call to Mercy is not only in the receiving of God's Mercy, but in ourselves giving other's mercy. Maria Goretti, one of my favorite saints, while dying after being stabbed by her attacker, forgave her attacker. She showed him MERCY!!! Not an easy task! But it's what our Lord demands:

"I demand from you deeds of mercy, which are to arise out of love for Me. You are to show mercy to your neighbors always and everywhere. You must not shrink from this or try to excuse or absolve yourself from it.

What are the Works of Mercy?
Corporal Works
Feed the hungry
Give drink to the thirsty
Clothe the naked
Shelter the homeless
Comfort the prisoners
Visit the sick
Bury the dead

Spiritual Works
Teach the ignorant
Pray for the living & dead
Correct sinners
Counsel those in doubt
Console the sorrowful
Bear wrongs patiently
Forgive wrongs willingly

Now, every day, I can recite my promises, with my new name, and my charism--my vocation--that of practicing Mercy!

I, Mary Grace of the Divine Mercy, inspired by the Holy Spirit, in response to God's call, sincerely promise to the Superiors of the Order of the Teresian Carmel and to you my brothers and sisters, to tend toward evangelical perfection in the spirit of the evangelical counsels of chastity, poverty, obedience, and of the Beatitudes, according to the Constitutions of the Secular Order of the Discalced Carmelites, for three years. I confidently entrust this, my promise, to the Virgin Mary, Mother and Queen of Carmel.

God Won't Make Us Believe In Him

2011-07-11T09:28:00.003-06:00

Have I EVER said how much I LOVE our most Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI. This article is from Zenit.

CASTEL GANDOLFO, Italy, JULY 10, 2011 (Zenit.org).- Love always respects freedom, Benedict XVI says, and God, too, does not force belief in him, but draws people to himself with truth and goodness.

The Pope said this today when he prayed his first public Angelus of the summer at Castel Gandolfo.

He reflected on today's Gospel on the parable of the sower. The Holy Father recalled how Jesus answered the disciples' question about why he chose to speak in parables.

"Jesus answers by making a distinction between them and the crowd: To the disciples, that is, to those who have already decided for him, he can speak openly of the Kingdom of Heaven; but to others he must speak in parables, precisely to awaken the decision, the conversion of the heart; parables, in fact, by their nature require an effort at interpretation, they engage one's reason but also freedom," he said.

Citing St. John Chrysostom, the Holy Father said that Jesus' parables intend to draw his listeners to him, to call them, "assuring them that if they turn to him, he will heal them."

"Ultimately," the Pontiff said, "the true 'Parable' of God is Jesus himself, his Person who, through the sign of humanity at the same time conceals and reveals the divinity. In this way God does not force us to believe in him, but he draws us to himself with the truth and goodness of his incarnate Son: love, in fact, always respects freedom."

Name day

Benedict XVI also noted that Monday marks the feast of St. Benedict, abbot and patron of Europe.

"In light of this Gospel we look to him as a master of listening to the Word of God, a deep and persevering listening," the Pontiff reflected.

"We must always learn from the great patriarch of Western monasticism to give God the place that belongs to him, the first place, offering him, with morning and evening prayer, our daily activities," the Pope exhorted. "May the Virgin Mary help us by her example to be 'good soil' where the seed of the word might bear fruit."

Protestants Worship the Bible

2011-07-10T21:25:00.003-06:00

From today's Bible reading at Mass:

Isaiah’s prophecy is fulfilled in them, which says:
You shall indeed hear but not understand,
you shall indeed look but never see.
Gross is the heart of this people,
they will hardly hear with their ears,
they have closed their eyes,
lest they see with their eyes
and hear with their ears
and understand with their hearts and be converted,
and I heal them.

Catholics are always being accused of worshiping Mary, or the saints, or the Pope--anything but worshiping Jesus. We worship Jesus. I've had people come up to me and say--"what I think is wrong about your religion is you worship Mary." "We don't worship Mary!" Then, I'll go into a long--very good and intellectual explanation of why we don't worship Mary. They act like they are listening, but then after a few minutes of "feigned" listening--they say, okay--"but I still don't see why you worship Mary." Ahhhhh! "We don't worship Mary!!!" They have stopped listening--they hear what they want to hear--according to their pre-conceived ideas.

After some contemplation on the previous Bible verse, it seems very obvious to me, that Protestants accuse us of the very thing, they themselves do--worship anything but Jesus. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God."

Protestants take the meaning of this Bible verse to mean the "word" not as the "Word." God did not leave us the "word" as Protestants interpret it as the "Bible", but God left us the "Word" as in the person of Jesus--and it is the person of Jesus whom we worship. God did not just leave us a "book" but He left us an entire church, with a book, and a Magisterium, and the Holy Spirit to lead us to all truth.

Protestants--those who protest the Catholic Church--thump that Bible and say "this is all we need--the word of God." But, then they have a strong propensity to interpret that "word" with ears that cannot hear, and eyes that cannot see. They worship the Bible--interpreted according to themselves. They neglect the parts in the Bible that says--one should follow the traditions, the church of the Apostles, and it's teachings. The Church--the Pillar and Foundation of truth. But those passages mysteriously disappear, their hearts and heads have become hardened against the truth.

Greater Than Your Sins

2011-07-01T07:47:00.007-06:00

From the "Conversation of the Merciful God with a Sinful Soul", Diary of St. Faustina, #1485

Jesus: My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire world. Who can measure the extent of my goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed myself to be nailed to the cross; for you I let my Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come, then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. Your misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy. Do not argue with Me about your wretchedness. You will give me pleasure if you hand over to me all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you the treasures of My grace.

Today is the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. At the crucifixion of our Lord, a soldier wanting to ensure that our Lord had died--thrust a lance into the side of our Lord's body hanging on the cross. He pierced the precious heart of our Lord and blood and Water poured out of the Wound from Jesus' Sacred Heart.

"Eternal Father, accept as worthy, for the needs of the Holy Church and as atonement for the sins of all Mankind, the Precious Blood and Water which poured forth from the Wound of Jesus' Divine heart. Be gracious and merciful toward us. Blood of Christ, the last precious content of His Holy Heart, wash me of all my and others' guilt of sin! Water from the Side of Christ, wash me clean of all punishments for sin and extinguish the flames of Purgatory for me and for all the Poor Souls. Amen"---Seventh prayer, St. Bridget 12-year

Hiking

2011-06-29T21:56:00.005-06:00

Today, Jim, Karen, Agnes and Stella went hiking with me to Waterfall Canyon--it was great fun! All day long, St. John Vianney and our Blessed Mother came to my mind--it felt like they were there with me there all day too--odd, perhaps I needed some extra assistance today!??? Sorta nice being with those you love :)

Old Woman

2011-06-19T09:56:00.004-06:00

by Jessica Powers:

Old Woman

None walks so wise as self, so enterprising
to shift earth's precious best to her own need.
She is like some old crone that time has sharpened
to find the succulent fruit on which to feed
the wood for fuel. And she would never be
concerned that love might be a thievery.

They speak the old man in us; I find, rather,
a shrewd old woman bustling in my mind,
with woman's trickeries and subterfuges
to confiscate what her caprices find.
This is the way I make my gifts to heaven:
I follow her; I watch her and I stand
ready to wrest her treasures from her hand.
I marvel at her methods to outwit me,
her ingenuity, her self-command.
For even when I rob her utterly
she goes and makes a little feast of pleasure
out of a woe she calls humility.

Hear me, O Lord!

2011-06-15T14:31:00.003-06:00

LORD God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, let it be known this day that You are God in Israel and I am Your servant, and that I have done all these things at Your word. Hear me, O LORD, hear me, that this people may know that You are the LORD God, and that You have turned their hearts back to You again."

Then the fire of the LORD fell and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood and the stones and the dust, and it licked up the water that was in the trench. Now when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces; and they said, "The LORD, He is God! The LORD, He is God!"

Thirty Day Prayer To Saint Joseph

2011-06-15T13:34:00.003-06:00

Ever blessed and glorious Joseph, kind and loving father, and helpful friend of all in sorrow! You are the good father and protector of orphans, the defender of the defenseless, the patron of those in need and sorrow. Look kindly on my request. My sins have drawn down on me the just displeasure of my God, and so I am surrounded with unhappiness. To you, loving guardian of the Family of Nazareth, do I go for help and protection.
Listen, then, I beg you, with fatherly concern, to my earnest prayers, and obtain for me the favors I ask.

I ask it by the infinite mercy of the eternal Son of God, which moved Him to take our nature and to be born into this world of sorrow.

I ask it by the weariness and suffering you endured when you found no shelter at the inn of Bethlehem for the holy Virgin, nor a house where the Son of God could be born. Then, being everywhere refused, you had to allow the Queen of Heaven to give birth to the world's Redeemer in a cave.

I ask it by that painful torture you felt at the prophecy of holy Simeon, which declared the Child Jesus and His holy Mother future victims of our sins and of their great love for us.

I ask it through your sorrow and pain of soul when the angel declared to you that the life of the Child Jesus was sought by His enemies. From their evil plan you had to flee with Him and His Blessed Mother to Egypt. I ask it by all the suffering, weariness, and labors of that long and dangerous journey.

I ask it by all your care to protect the Sacred Child and His Immaculate Mother during your second journey, when you were ordered to return to your own country. I ask it by your peaceful life in Nazareth where you met with so many joys and sorrows.

I ask it by your great distress when the adorable Child was lost to you and His Mother for three days. I ask it by your joy at finding Him in the Temple, and by the comfort you found at Nazareth, while living in the company of the Child Jesus. I ask it by the wonderful submission He showed in His obedience to you.

I ask it by the perfect love and conformity you showed in accepting the Divine order to depart from this life, and from the company of Jesus and Mary. I ask it by the joy which filled your soul, when the Redeemer of the world, triumphant over death and hell, entered into the possession of His kingdom and led you into it with special honors.

I ask it through Mary's glorious Assumption, and through that endless happiness you have with her in the presence of God.

O good father! I beg you, by all your sufferings, sorrows, and joys, to hear me and obtain for me what I ask.

(make your request)

Obtain for all those who have asked my prayers everything that is useful to them in the plan of God. Finally, my dear patron and father, be with me and all who are dear to me in our last moments, that we may eternally sing the praises of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Read more: http://www.ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/thirtydayjoseph.htm#ixzz1PNJRol00

Free Will

2011-06-14T17:24:00.002-06:00

God's Will, we pray as did Jesus, "Thy Will be done, not mine." Jesus died, at the hands of evil men. Jesus did the Will of His Father. And what is the Father's Will?--to allow all men free will--the free will to kill, even to kill God Himself.

This May Explain

2011-06-05T09:44:00.003-06:00

Poetry by Jessica Powers

The door to God, the door to any grace
is very little, very ordinary.
Those must remember who would gain the place
this rule that does not vary;
all truth, all love are by humiliation
guarded, as One has testified before.
This may explain why the serf finds salvation,
and kings and scholars pass the little door.

Happy Birthday Father Erik!

2011-06-02T11:42:00.001-06:00

The Kiss

2011-05-30T20:13:00.002-06:00

This early morning my husband gave me a kiss. How I longed for him to stay home, on this Memorial holiday, but he had to work. After getting myself dressed, I had to brush my teeth--I was going to Mass to receive my Lord, but I didn't want to brush my teeth, because I could still feel his kiss, and didn't want to brush it away. He called me later in the day, and I knew how blessed to have his love, and thought of all the soldiers killed--for us. We were together, but still apart, for he had to work to pay the bills. And now tonight as the house is quiet, Philip is in bed, Cheryl and the dogs downstairs--and I sit all warm and safe, looking out at the evening sun on the mountains and clouds, and think of all the soilders sacrifice. And though my Jim is hard at work, tomorrow I will see him, and tonight still feel his kiss.

Angela COME BACK!!!

2011-05-30T14:17:00.003-06:00

There has been many days that I want to delete this blog--but my Spiritual Advisor--Father Erik--tells me that it's good for me--so does my husband Jim. Blogging is a "Spiritual" outlet, it helps me collect my thoughts and helps focus on things of the Lord.

But sometimes, I just want to withdraw from the world, with it's frivolities and go into a quiet place, just me and Jesus :) But that's not how God works. He wants us to be in Communion with each other--we are in the "Communion of Saints!" Which means we spend time together, and share our lives together. Reading what Saint Teresa of Jesus told her nuns she said:
Don't let your soul withdraw into a corner, for instead of obtaining sanctity you will obtain many imperfections that the devil in other ways will place before you; and, as I have said, you will not be of as much benefit to yourself or to others as you could have been."
She also said:
So Sisters, strive as much as you can, without offense to God, to be affable and understanding in such a way that everyone you talk to will love your conversation and desire your manner of living and acting, and not be frightened and intimidated by virtue. This is very important for religious; the holier they are the more sociable they are with their Sisters. And even though you may feel very distressed if all you Sisters' conversations do not go as you would like them to, never turn away from them if you want to help your Sisters and be loved. This is what we must strive for earnestly, to be affable, agreeable, and pleasing to persons with whom we deal, especially our Sisters.

So Angela, come back to blogging!!!

My Whim And Appetite

2011-05-30T11:08:00.004-06:00

So, I asked my daughter, Cheryl, "When we pray in the Lord's Prayer, give us this day our daily bread--just what do you think that means?" My agnostic daughter, who was raised secular, said, "When you go to church every day." "What do you mean?" I further probed. "When you go to Mass and get Jesus everyday--Isn't that little piece of bread looking stuff--Jesus 'our daily bread?'"

"Wow" she understands that--I was astonished. Growing up secular myself, before coming to the Catholic Church--it was a Baptist Minister who drew me to Jesus. "Our Daily Bread" was our daily physical, worldly bread, that feed our stomach each day. God provided for our bread and our other material needs.

Yesterday, I was finishing my Carmelite homework--reading the Way of Perfection by St. Teresa of Jesus. Saint Teresa was teaching her nuns about prayer, and was using the prayer our Lord Himself gave us--the Our Father. She said:
"Since the Father has already given us his Son and, just because he wanted to, sent him into the world, the Son, just because he wants to, desires not to abandon us but to remain here with us, to the greater glory of his friends and the affliction of his enemies. He asks again for no more than to be with us this day only, because it is a fact that he has given us this most sacred bread forever. His Majesty gave us, as I have said, the manna and nourishment of his humanity that we might find him at will and not die of hunger, save through our own fault. In no matter how many ways the soul may desire to eat, it will find delight and consolation in the most Blessed Sacrament. I don't want to think the Lord had in mind the other bread that is used for our bodily needs and nourishment; nor would I want you to have that in mind."

"Light Bulb!" Oh, my gosh, our daily bread is Jesus in the Eucharist! You may think this odd of me, and yes, I always knew that Jesus was truly present in the Eucharist--but I never connected it to the words "our daily bread" in the "our Father." I told my husband Jim, and he chuckled when he heard Cheryl tell me the answer so easily.

Our "daily bread" is Jesus in the Eucharist. Of course, listening to the Protestants, their daily bread is their physical--not spiritual food. It's not the "REAL" Jesus they consume--but a lowly piece of bread and grape juice, water, or maybe even wine--they think of Jesus in the breaking of the bread--but they have not received the true body and blood--but only a symbol. When praying the "our Father" they pray for their own whims and appetites to be filled. But Saint Teresa of Jesus exhorts us to ask the "Eternal Father that we might merit to receive our heavenly bread in such a way that the Lord may reveal himself to the eyes of our soul and make himself thereby known since our bodily eyes cannot delight in beholding him, because he is so hidden."

I love these "light bulb" moments! Why my daughter made the connection, and not I, was perhaps from the protestant twisting of God's truths according to their own whims that I had learned before becoming Catholic. Protestant theology over the years has gone further and further away from the truth from where they started--protesting truths in the Catholic church, to a more secular, self-centered, prosperity gospel--YOU deserve everything YOU want--just pray hard enough and God will give you everything.

Sometimes I get the image of our poor little souls--starving for "our daily bread," crying, "feed me!, feed me! On the outside we may be all full and plump with worldly prosperity--but what of our eternal soul--starved for the "Manna from Heaven."

This November, I am praying that the Lord let me enter into my temporary promises in Carmel--to become and official "Carmelite." What if I had never entered Carmel, and read this most delicious book, "the Way of Perfection?" What a treasure trove! My Lord is now teaching me to set my Will on Heavenly things--things that will last for an eternity--rather than only one short life-time. And so now, I go back to the beginning--to the Lord--where He started--where He taught us the "our Father." Back to the beginning, before the pathway took a wrong turn, by a false prophet of God, who used my own whims and appetites to lead me astray. Back to what our Lord told us to pray for--"our Daily Bread!" Not "my" daily bread.

God Is Today

2011-05-30T07:50:00.003-06:00

God is today.
He is not yesterday.
He is not tomorrow.

God is the dawn, wakening earth to life;
the first morning ever,
shining with infinite innocence; a revelation
older than all beginning, younger than youth.
God is the noon, blinding the eye of the mind
with the blaze of truth.
God is the sunset, casting over creation
a color of glory
as He withdraws into mysteries of light.

God is today.
He is not yesterday.
He is not tomorrow.
He never is night.
---Jessica Powers

This Memorial Day, I am remembering the unborn children. All the little children who were never born because of the selfishness of parents who killed them in their own womb, because they were too busy to care.

Today our infinite God, cares for them. He willed then into existence--we humans usurped the Will of God for our own when we rejected God's Will--that they be born. God does not live in time--we live in time, and feel that the burdens of life are so severe there is no love in our hearts for our own little children. Satan is very happy to see the unborn babies heaped up in a garbage dumpster, what a horror of life that he has seduced us into believing they are just waste.

Today, I pray for all the parents who have aborted their children--for God's mercy--and remember all the little children, their smiles, their excitement at playing with puppies, their first steps--their first words, that no one will ever see or hear. Today I mourn for our loss of such innocent life.

Philip's New Toy

2011-05-29T22:05:00.007-06:00

I Am Ready!

2011-05-17T16:18:00.008-06:00

In June, 2008, I wrote this blog post about discerning a vocation to the Secular order Carmelites. Three years ago, my main objective remains exactly the same as today: "I am self-centered and enjoy the “gifts” of this physical world.--but my desire is to grow away from my self-centered life into a life centered on Jesus."

What has changed in these three years is my understanding and knowledge of what exactly is expected from one who has been called, by God, to be a Carmelite. Being a Carmelite is a huge responsibility, and it takes time to understand what God asks from you in the order. Father Aloysius Deeney, OCD says that responsibility is not a burden, but it means the ability to respond.

One thing about when God Himself calls you to a specific Charism, such as being a Carmelite, at first it may appear to be a huge burden, but in reality it's a huge Grace. God called you to do a job for him--and your responsibility is to respond with the ability that He gave you. To not respond is being like Jonah. God called him to go to Nineveh and preach, and convert the evil people of the town--and if they did not convert and repent, they would be destroyed. But Jonah, ran from his calling, tried to hide from God. Huh! And what did God do to Jonah--threw him in the belly of a whale, made him suffer, and in the end, Jonah still did what God asked of him.

And what God asks of a Carmelite is much. Daily; reading the Divine Office, meditating in the heart for a half hour, Spiritual reading, praying a devotion to our Blessed Mother, and going to daily Mass if one is able. In addition, attending a monthly four hour meeting, doing homework and studying the lessons, and attending retreats and social gatherings. This can take at least two plus hours per day! And what does all this spiritual formation mean? Well, if the Holy Spirit, who gave you the "ability" to "respond" to God's Grace, and you use that God given ability, it will produce fruit--for the building up of God's Church, and for all humanity. If rather, one goes about their own selfish ways, chooses to resist God's Grace--well, you may just find yourself in the belly of a whale!

We have a responsibility to respond to our call from God from our ability.

Today, I have been invited to take my temporary promises to the Carmelies--in November! What that means is vows--a covenant bonding with God! A vow is not breakable. The vows I will take, however are temporary--a three year period, then after those three years, perhaps, the superiors of the Carmelites will ask me once again to make a definitive promise--permanent vows for the rest of my life.

Here is the promise: I, Mary Grace Benedicta of the Cross, Inspired by the Holy Spirit, in response to God's call, sincerely promise to the Superiors of the Order of the Teresian Carmel and to you my brothers and sisters, to tend toward evangelical perfection in the spirit of the evangelical counsels of chastity, poverty, obedience, and of the Beatitudes, according to the Constitutions of the Secular Order of the Discalced Carmelites, for three years. I confidently entrust this, my promise, to the Virgin Mary, Mother and Queen of Carmel.

After three years of discernment, do I want to do the Will of God, and respond to His call??? Yes, with great love and joy in my heart! What a Grace! YES, YES, YES!!! I am ready!

"You have not only a glorious history to remember and recount, but also a great history still to be accomplished. Look to the future, where the Spirit is sending you in order to do even greater things." ---Vita Consecrata, 110

Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-08T14:01:00.004-06:00

On this Mother's day, my daughter Cheryl, and my husband Jim, gave me a gift of a bouquet of Masses. A true "eternal" gift. Oh, how very blessed I am :)

What Is a Trigger Point and What Causes Them

2011-05-06T11:12:00.001-06:00

This morning I awoke with another migraine headache--sheesh--but good news, is that I have been diagnosed with trigger points--good, because the Physical therapist believes this is what is leading to my migraines! And in treating these trigger points--it should eliminate the migraines--Hooray!

He believes that after about four weeks of physical therapy--twice a week--he can "unlock" the trigger points, and then with a few simple stretching exercises performed everyday--along with drinking plenty of water--It will virtually eliminate the headaches.

"How gracious is the Lord, and just;
our God has compassion.
The Lord protects the simple hearts;
I was helpless so he saved me."

Amazing Day

2011-05-01T21:18:00.006-06:00

Today, May, 1, 2011, what an amazing day! Our beloved Pope John Paul II was beatified! On the feast of Divine Mercy, also a day we pay a special tribute to our Lady, and St. Joseph the Worker. Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and John Paul the II all on the same day! And now Bin Laden--one of the most evil men in the world--is found dead, Wow! What an amazing day!

Pope John Paul II will always be remembered in my mind, for the words he spoke often, "Fear Not!" He told us to "be not afraid" of the truth, of proclaiming yourself to be a Christian, and to open the gates of your heart to welcome in our Lord. Pope Benedict XVI today said, that Pope John Paul II was a saint, because he believed! Which coincided with our Bible reading for today: "Although you have not seen him you love him; even though you do not see him now yet believe in him, you rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy, as you attain the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

Have I ever said how much I love the Catholic Faith!

Quote St.Elizabeth Of The Trinity

2011-04-30T21:48:00.002-06:00

When God sees that we are prepared to receive His grace, His generous goodness is ready to give us the gift that will give us His likeness. Our aptitude for receiving His grace depends on the inner integrity with which we move towards Him. And then God, bringing us His gifts, can give Himself, imprint on us His likeness, forgive and free us.

For A Child of God

2011-04-29T15:45:00.002-06:00

The saints and mystics

Had a name

For that deep

Inwardness of flame,

The height or depth

Or ground or goal

Which is God's dwelling in the soul.

Heaven

Because God is there

All day and when

You wake at night

Think of that place

Of living light.

Yours and within you

And aglow

Where only God

And you can go.

None can assail you

In that place

Save your own evil,

Routing grace.

Not even angels

See or hear,

Nor the dark spirits

Prowling near.

But there are days

when watching eyes

could guess that you

hold Paradise.

Sometimes the shining

Overflows

And everyone

Around you knows.

Child has no one ever told you

God is in your soul.

---Jessica Powers

Taizé Geneve - Surrexit Christus

2011-04-24T16:46:00.000-06:00

Easter 2011

2011-04-24T15:11:00.023-06:00

Our Easter Celebration starts by lighting an Easter Fire--we have to light the Easter Candle with Blessed Fire! (Of course, for some, a very small fire is all that is required--but Father Erik, does not settle for some teeny weeny little fire.)
Father burned some old vestments in the fire too--for sacred objects--we don't just throw them in the trash, but like an American flag, we treat it with respect by burning or burying them. I think it made the fire even more beautiful :)
Lighting the Easter Candle with blessed fire! Now that's a FIRE!
Inside the church, we sit and listen to Bible passages, in the dark. When I was first Baptized, I wondered, "Are they going to read the entire Bible in one night?!" It was great--I love the long Easter Vigil!!!
One of the most important things we do, is Baptize at Easter--and after the Baptisms, everyone present renews their Baptismal Promises and Father will sprinkle the crowd with new Baptismal water.
A Priest is "set apart" for Godly purposes. Here our most beloved Father Erik blesses the Baptismal water.
New Life!!!
Oremus!
Sleeping Beauty! The Easter Vigil started late this year.
Sacramental Marriage--The vocation of the married is to ensure that one's spouse attains Heaven--we love each other--and give ourselves to each other--just as Jesus gave Himself for us on the cross!
Philip getting ready to attend Mass on Easter--practicing his kneeling--in an outfit his daddy bought him, special for Easter Sunday!
11:30 Mass, oh, how nice to have friends waiting outside to greet you :)
Philip and Louise.
Philip found some Palm Sunday Palm leaves--Father is holding them for him while they get their picture taken--Philip loves Father--he makes funny faces at him, and at the Friday fish frys, shares his tator tots with Philip.
Godmother Sara made a cute Easter basket for Philip. When Philip got home, his favorite part was the Easter Card--that had a real chocolate cross.
Philip was such a good boy at Mass today, he was on his best behavoir--even when we arrived home--he decided to help us with the dishes.
What a most blessed Easter, for our Family! May you all enjoy blessings in abundance at this most sacred time of the year--Happy Easter!

Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia

2011-04-24T08:23:00.002-06:00

Jesus resurrected Himself from the dead! Jesus then stayed on earth for forty more days, establishing HIS Church--making Peter the first Pope, teaching--"go out and baptize," and promised when He Ascended into Heaven He would send us the Holy Spirit to be with us always. Thousands witnessed Him in the flesh--He conquered death and sin! Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia!

Easter Egg Hunt

2011-04-23T11:48:00.003-06:00

Philip had his very first Easter Egg Hunt today! For more pictures see my new blog: Grandma Tara, a blog devoted entirely to pictures of Philip, and pictures Philip will like to see--like pictures of cows and such :)

Silence

2011-04-23T11:07:00.004-06:00

"Rise, let us leave this place. The enemy led you out of the earthy paradise. I will not restore you to that paradise, but I will enthrone you in heaven..."

Holy Saturday, Jesus's body lay in the tomb. Silence in the world. But in the underworld--the world of the dead--great rejoicing--for Jesus descended into the underworld, and all those who had died, but could not yet enter Heaven until Jesus paid the sacrifice, were told their long wait for the Messiah was over...

For Salvation of Souls

2011-04-22T08:55:00.006-06:00

...and the story continues to Good Friday. At the hour of Divine Mercy, three o'clock, Jesus died on the Cross for Salvation of Souls. All of the souls now on earth and those throughout time--His sacrifice is ETERNAL and we accept His sacrifice of love--even two thousand years later.

Jesus, however, could not save ALL souls--He Himself, loved all, but could not save all. At our Lord's crucifixion, He was crucified between two thieves. One of the thieves accepted his cross--he had done evil, but he was sorry, and asked Jesus for forgiveness. Jesus forgave him--saved his soul--and said, "this day you will be in paradise!" But the other thief, would not accept the free gift of salvation--Jesus could not save him from Purgatory or Hell! He would go to his death and lose his salvation.

It is a profound mystery to me, why God's plan of salvation, is thwarted by the contrary design of His creatures. We are "allowed" to enter freely into His love--to say yes or no! God designed us to participate in His plan! And it is an even greater mystery to me, that men refuse His love!

Today, as Catholics, we deeply enter into the mystery that is our Lord's sacrifice for the salvation of souls, His suffering and His death, His love He gave for all. But this is not the end of the story...

Pretty Flowers

2011-04-21T11:53:00.001-06:00

"Grandma! Yes, the flowers are pretty--but this ground is COLD!

Is This Weekend Easter?

2011-04-21T10:08:00.007-06:00

"Hey Tara, is this weekend Easter?" A question from a co-worker at work yesterday. "Yes it is," I said. Sorta chuckling to myself, this question seemed so bizarre to me, but it would have been the same question that I might have asked ten years ago, being a non-Christian.

As a Catholic, we have been preparing for Easter since Ash Wednesday--the beginning of Lent. And now we are in Holy Week, the most important week of the year! Starting with Palm Sunday--when Jesus was welcomed into Jerusalem by many of His followers--to the anger and hatred of the Pharisee's, who wanted Him dead!

Today is Holy Thursday. On this day we remember the Last Supper--Jesus gave us our FIRST Mass! And we come together as a family, at Church to remember this most important day. At the Last Supper, before our Lord died, He gave us His body and blood--we eat the sacrifice of the "Lamb Of God", in much the same way as the Israelites ate the sacrifice of the lamb at the Passover. In eating the sacrifice, we are "passed-over" --freed from our sins--through the blood of the Lamb. How can this be? He's God, He can do anything.

At the Last Supper, just before Jesus goes out to the Garden of Olives to pray, He said a prayer: Jn:17 ..."Father, the hour has come, give glory to your son, so that your son may glorify you, just as you gave him authority over all people, so that he may give eternal life to all you gave him. Now this is eternal life, that they should know you, the only true God, and the one whom you sent, Jesus Christ. I glorified you on earth by accomplishing the work that you gave me to do. Now glorify me, Father, with you, with the glory that I had with you before the world began..."

Jesus then went out to the Garden of Olives, and prayed, "Lord, Thy Will be done--not Mine." Jesus was so full of anxiety at this point that He sweat blood. And medical doctors have found that under extreme cases of anxiety, this is most certainly possible. Coming into Christianity from a pagan world, and having a bit of an anxiety disorder, this is the mystery that I most identify with, sometimes when having a bit of anxiety, I tell myself, "well, it's not as bad as Jesus's anxiety--I'm not sweating blood!

Of course, while He was praying--Judas was out selling Him for thirty pieces of silver, and then brought the soldiers to the Garden to arrest Jesus...the rest of the story continues...

Conquering Down The Centuries

2011-04-18T09:44:00.003-06:00

I saw the Conquerors riding by
With cruel lip and faces wan:
Musing on kingdoms sacked and burned
There rode the Mongol Genghis Khan;

And Alexander, like a God,
Who sought to weld the world in one:
And Caesar with is laurel wreath;
And leading, like a star the van,
Heedless of upstretched arm and groan,
Inscrutable Napoleon went
Dreaming of empire and alone...

Then all perished from the earth
As fleeting shadows from a glass,
And, conquering down the centuries,
Came Christ, the Swordless, on an ass?
---Harry Kemp

Still Alive

2011-04-17T09:32:00.009-06:00

"Well, that's against the rules," I said. My friend looked across the table at me, like are you on crack or something!? We were at after Mass coffee--of course the affairs of the world are all discussed in small groups at after Mass coffee. There was an NFP class being offered that day, so we were talking about birth control. My friend, said that condoms were an acceptable birth control method. By the look she gave me--I knew exactly what she was thinking about my opinion. "That's according to our church," I said. Verbally, she said nothing but looked at me like she was the most knowledgeable person on the subject, and I was just some naive child who just told her that the Easter Bunny was real. The look was "surely you don't believe the teachings of the church, do you!?"

Thinking about this for a while, must be the contemplative inside of me, I wondered at how, not just my friend, but many in the church totally disregard church teaching for their own beliefs, especially on subjects like birth control, abortion, and euthanasia.

Isaiah 65:1b-3a

I said: Here I am! Here I am!
To a nation that did not call upon my name.
I have stretched out my hands all the day
to a rebellious people,
Who walk in evil paths
and follow their own thoughts,
People who provoke me continually, to my face.

It just does not make rational sense to my mind, to profess and believe the Catholic Church--but then follow one's own thoughts??? If thoughts are contrary to church beliefs--to err on the side of safety--would we not go with church teaching? The thoughts that come to my mind are pride and arrogance--prideful to think one knows better than God's church, and arrogance to persist in those prideful thoughts.

In one of Saint Bridget's revelations from our Lord, she told of a vision of three women, A mother who had died and was in Hell, her daughter--still alive, and her daughter's daughter--who also had died, and was in Purgatory. In the vision, the mother who was in Hell, came out of a foul and dark clay ditch--the saint went on to describe a horrible vision of eyes hanging down on her cheeks between sinews, and her forehead hollow and dark.

The mother in Hell said, "Hear you, altogether my torn and venomous daughter. Woe is me that I was ever your mother. I am she who set you in the nest of pride, in which you, made hot, grew until you came of age. And then it was pleasing to you that you had spent your time in that nest. Therefore I say to you that as often as you turn your eyes to look at, or see pride, which I taught you, so often cast you boiling venom in my eyes with insufferable burning heat...

...Woe, therefore, to me, who am poor and wretched; poor because I have nor feel anything of good, and wretched because I have abundance and plenty of evil. But you, daughter, are like the tail of a cow which, going in foul clay, as often as she moves her tail, as often does she befoul and sprinkles those near her. So you, daughter, are like a cow; for you have no goodly wisdom, and you go after the works and impulses of your body...

...Therefore as often as you follow the works of my custom, that is to say, those sins which I taught you, so often is my pain renewed, and the more grievously it burns upon me..."

After the mother in Hell had spoken to the live daughter--then her dead granddaughter spoke to her mother who was still alive: "Hear, you scorpion, my mother, woe is me, because of you have evilly deceived me. For you showed me your merry face, but you pricked me very grievously in my heart. Three counsels you gave me... The first was to love bodily in order to get carnal love and fleshly friendship. The second was to spend temporal goods over abundantly for praise from the world. The third was to have rest for the delectation and delight of the body. These counsels were very harmful to me and a great hindrance...

Well, after this vision, the woman who was left alive left all the world and entered into the religious life, and lived all her life in great perfection and holiness. The granddaughter went to Purgatory. The mother in Hell said, "the scripture is true that as rightful men are members of God, so sinners are members of the devil."

As Catholics, one of our works is to "admonish the sinner." How much better to admonish them before they die, while they still have time to convert their minds and hearts to God?

Wistful For Carmel-By-The-Sea

2011-04-16T16:01:00.002-06:00

This is where I want to go, to Carmel, by the sea.

Clean, Clear Water

2011-04-16T14:04:00.004-06:00

Yesterday night Jim and I went to our church's forty hours of Adoration. Being there at night, we were the only two in the building with Jesus--It was lovely, peaceful, calm, and the warmth of the interior of the church glowed. At one point being a person who can't sit still too long, I wandered around the exterior of the chapel, and contemplated the stations of the cross. There were candle's flickering, and the floor that had just recently been polished--reflected the lights in the room. I went over to the fourteenth station, where hardly anyone walked in the church--the floors were so beautiful, as if not even one foot step was placed on them. The floor almost appeared as a clear pool of water--without any dirt to spoil the reflection.

Thinking of my most blessed Mother Mary, her picture now hidden under a purple veil, she was like a clean, clear pool of water--so sinless, without any dirt to muddy the most beautiful clear water in the pool. In her sinless state, she totally reflected our Lord perfectly. Every sin we commit, muddy's and stains the water, oh, sigh.

The Freeview HD Corgi Advert - 60 seconds

2011-04-16T07:39:00.000-06:00

Just Words!

2011-04-14T14:03:00.000-06:00

Please check out this most POWERFUL post by Adoro!

Cute Little Puppies

2011-04-14T11:28:00.011-06:00

When I take my little newest puppy Agnes outside--being disobedient, she's on a leash. My other dog, Stella, who is obedient, can come outside without a leash. Agnes, being just a baby, has not learned to be obedient, and Stella has. Agnes, would easily run off--into the street--without a worry of a giant car that would smoosh her into the pavement, or run off and get lost--and not find her way home. She may come up against another mean dog that would easily tear her to pieces for walking in their territory. Or walk into a weed patch full of prickly burrs that could stick to her little feet and hurt as she walked.

Not Stella, she is obedient. She has learned to trust her master--me--and when I call or give a command she immediately listens. She's off leash, she has more freedom, because she knows how to obey her master.

When I take Agnes outside, she gets distracted, and any command that I give her--if the distraction is too powerful, such as another dog, or child, she is helpless to focus back on her master's command. Sometimes, I try and use the "Dog Whisper's" technique and give her a little nudge--"hey, pay attention to me--not the distraction." But while it works momentarily--in just a few moments she has refocused on the distraction. She is a baby, and has no concept of the dangers in the world that await her.

Stella, has learned to focus more on her master's voice than on the distraction--and even when actively playing with another dog--when she hears her master's voice--she listens--"my master's speaking." To Stella, being obedient to her master, has become more important than the distractions of the world. She has developed trust, with mutual feelings of love and respect. She is a part of the "pack" and when the master speaks--she here's my voices and listens.

This morning, I was giving Agnes the command, "downstairs, outside." She needed to go out immediately! Even though she needed to go out, she didn't listen, so I gave the command again--immediately, Stella who was with me, and like Agnes, understood the command--herded Agnes downstairs and outside, with a little growl--"you listen to mommy!" Stella helped me enforce the command to the little baby who is still in great need of learning to obey.

Of course Stella as a baby was not always as obedient as she is now--she had to learn through trial and error, had to overcome her need to go investigate the interesting distractions, just because she wanted to please the master. For with the Master is safety, shelter, love, respect, and food--she is part of the pack.

So here we are--the humans--the baptized humans, who have been adopted by God. We are part of the pack of God! He is the Master, we need to obey! At first, being the little babies we are in faith, sometimes the distractions are too powerful, and we have not yet learned to listen to the Master's voice, we are our own master, we decide what is right or wrong, because we have no concept of the dangers in the world. We decide if we need to pee, we do it wherever we decide, even on our Master's new carpet. If we need to run out in front of a car, to see the dog on the other side of the street--we run, we do whatever we want. And relying on the great Mercy of the Master--He forgives us, and cleans up our messes.

But over time, we need to stop relying only on the great Mercy of the Master. We do not continue to be "cute little puppies" forever. We need to stop sinning and think that our Master will not exact punishment. There is a time when we are expected to grow up and become a part of the pack. If we keep peeing on the carpet, we may get taken to the pound, or given a home outside, where we can pee all over ourselves as much as we want--out in the cold! We will no longer get to jump on the Master's bed, and chew our bone peacefully, while our master scratches our ears. If we run out in front of a car--we may get killed. We know there is a penalty for disobeying the Master! We are expected to grow up and become a working part of the pack! Sometimes, like my sweet little saint dog Stella, by growling at her little sister Agnes, and herding her to where the master told her to go.

"When he has driven out all his own, he walks ahead of them, and the sheep follow him, because they recognize his voice. But they will not follow a stranger; they will run away from him, because they do not recognize the voice of strangers."

When we sin, we make our Lord a stranger--by no longer listening to His voice!

The Fear Of God

2011-04-13T17:03:00.004-06:00

..."the fear of God, which, in the opinion of the saints, is the treasure and defence of the soul. Without the fear of God the soul is like a ship without ballast; the winds of human or divine favor may sweep it to destruction. Not withstanding that she may be richly laden with virtue, she is in continual danger of being wrecked on the rocks of temptation, if she be not stayed by this ballast of the fear of God. Therefore, not only those who have just entered God's service, but those who have long been of His household, should continue in this salutary fear; the former by reason of their past transgressions, the latter on account of their weakness, which exposes them to danger at every moment. This holy fear is the effect of grace, and is preserved in the soul by frequent meditation." ---The Sinner's Guide--The Folly of Sin.

Sweet Sacrament

2011-04-06T20:12:00.001-06:00

Jesus, my Lord, my God, my all,
How can I love Thee as I ought?
And how revere this wond'rous gift,
So far surpassing hope or thought.
Sweet Sacrament, we Thee adore.
O make us love Thee more and more!
O make us love Thee more and more!

Had I but Mary's sinless heart,
To love Thee with, my dearest King;
O with what bursts of fervent praise,
Thy goodness, Jesus, would I sing!
Sweet Sacrament, we Thee adore.
O make us love Thee more and more!
O make us love Thee more and more!

O, see, within a creature's hand,
The vast Creator deigns to be,
Reposing infant-like, as though
On Joseph's arm, on Mary's knee.
Sweet Sacrament, we Thee adore.
O make us love Thee more and more!
O make us love Thee more and more!

Thy body, soul, and Godhead, all--
O mystery of love divine!
I cannot compass all I have,
For all Thou hast and art are mine.
Sweet Sacrament, we Thee adore.
O make us love Thee more and more!
O make us love Thee more and more!

Sound, sound His praises higher still,
And come ye Angels to our aid;
'Tis God, 'tis God, the very God,
Whose power both man and angels made.
Sweet Sacrament, we Thee adore.
O make us love Thee more and more!
O make us love Thee more and more!

Cheryl

2011-04-06T19:38:00.002-06:00

Today, Jim and I watched Philip while Cheryl had a little break, and went and had her hair done, by one of my friends. I think she looks beautiful, and the colors are lovely! The colors match her tattoo--this is my daughter :)

St. Toribio Alfonso Mogrovejo

2011-04-06T11:08:00.004-06:00

"Time is not our own, and we must give a strict account of it."

He Baptized nearly a half million souls, including, St. Rose of Lima, St. Francis Solano, Blessed Martin of Porres, and Blessed Masias.

No More Confession!

2011-03-28T16:40:00.002-06:00

My daughter in New York sent me some magazines with some of her fantastic work, and she included this great sin wipe. Any time you sin--no more Confession--just pull out a wipe and wash away those sins--right on the spot!

Gnome

2011-03-28T13:05:00.002-06:00

My friend Kris gave me this really cool gnome--cause she knows I love them--he is so cute planting his little flower, and just look at those happy eyes! Thanks Kris )

Morning Meditaton

2011-03-28T13:00:00.002-06:00

This Lenten morning--attempting to pray a Rosary, my sweetest little grandson, pushes the door open, and has to come and see what grandma's doing. Philip likes grandma's Rosary, and it's not long before it's around his neck--along with my scapular--What!? Grandma!

There By The Grace...

2011-03-27T20:39:00.013-06:00

"There by the Grace of God go I" How many times have you heard or said that statement? But while we look at others in deplorable conditions when we say that I was thinking the exact same question when reading about St. Therese. St. Therese said that if she did not have all the Graces given to her by God, the example of a good family, a church environment, a deep gift of faith--she would have turned out to be a "little demon." "There by the Grace of God go I" can also be said about the saints who were given so many graces.

Today, teaching a class about the Blessed Virgin Mary, I thought about how our Blessed Mother was given more Graces than all the Saints put together--our Blessed Mother NEVER sinned, she was "Full of Grace", she had no concupiscence, no desire to even commit even the smallest sin. Even the greatest saint after her, sinned at least once. Although, a Priest after hearing St. Therese's Confession, pronounced that in her entire life St. Therese had never committed a single mortal sin. If we were born so "full of Grace" would we too not ever sin???

Father Erik says we should always strive to remain in a "State of Grace." A state so full of Grace, that we are unable to sin, due to absolutely not one molecule of room left in our soul for sin! Our Blessed Mother, after her Assumption into Heaven--came back to earth--and in different apparitions has asked us to be obedient to Jesus, and "pray the Rosary." She told us how to obtain as many Graces as the Saints. Obviously if our sinless, full of Grace, mother has to come back from Heaven to earth to tell us this--we should listen to our Mother!!!

So I purpose, this Lent, and always, that we be "Greedy for Grace." We look for every opportunity to gain Grace, be obedient to Jesus, and pray the Rosary. But in order to even have the desire to do so, we already have to have Grace--and the more Grace we have, the more we can obtain. Father scolded me for eating meat this past Friday, "but Father, it is a Solemnity!" He said I still could have chosen not to eat meat that day and continued to observe the Lenten season. Of course that's what a Saint would have done--not a self-indulgent, weak, frail, full of concupiscence person that I am. But, but, but; "There by the Grace of God go I."